Ace Ventura: Aaalll righty then.
Robert Englund: I think they'd like to see us together again.
Heather Lagenkamp: In what? A romantic-comedy?
Robert Englund: Just because it's a love story doesn't mean it can't have a decapitation or two.
The Judge: Deciding what is true and what isn't now seems to me...a lack of modesty.
Valentine: Vanity?
The Judge: Vanity.
Roy: Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, so sayeth the Psalms.
Judge Harry Roosevelt: That's Proverbs 12:22.
The Shadow: The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
Child's Giggly Voice: Suck my tinkertoy.
John Trent: This shit really sells doesn't it?
Linda Styles: More than you'd think. Surprised?
John Trent: Lady, nothing surprises me anymore. We fucked up the air, the water, we fucked up each other. Why don't we just finish the job by flushing our brains down the toilet?
Claudette: I've told you, not to bother me before a show, or after a show. Or, at home in my bedroom, when I'm thinking about a show.
Chris Morrow: Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Excuse me?
Chris Morrow: KGB, for short.
Richard "Ditch" Brodie: Oh, come on! It's the KG-used-to-B.
Maurice L. Pogue: It's so nice seeing all your faces here: John and Susan and Mary and Fred and Ethel, Little Ricky.