William Simon aka Billy Bright: I could have been a millionaire.
Martin 'Cockeye' Van Buren: Then, why didn't you do it, then?
William Simon aka Billy Bright: Because I listened to dumbbells like you, that's why?
Martin 'Cockeye' Van Buren: If I'm such a dumbbell, why'd you listen?
William Simon aka Billy Bright: Because I was a bigger dumbbell.
Agnes: If sex were the only thing that really mattered, the whole world would be run by rabbits.
Willie Boy: Indian's don't last in prison. They weren't born for it like the whites.
The Count: The Maldorais line must continue, and God must know where the Americans fit. Americans are brave, and that is why they seem like children. They are young, wild animals, so what can you expect?.. I expect a child.
Hercules: Ha, ha, ha. You have strucked Hercules.
Rocky: It isn't a contest. It's a show.
Linus Van Pelt: You look like you've been through shock treatment or something.
Charlie Brown: What's more shocking than having your faults projected on a screen?
Station-keeper: See'd your dust all day. What you drivin'? Buffalo?
Col. John Henry Thomas: Stage arrived yet?
Station-keeper: It's overdue. I ain't askin' cause I don't care, but if your name's Thomas there's a couple of poppinjays waitin' inside ta see ya. They been here for two days now. I give 'em water the first day and they've took'n root.
Col. John Henry Thomas: Government agents?
Station-keeper: I ain't asked. They ain't said.
Professor Richter: I have become the victim of everything that Frankenstein and I ever advocated. My brain is in someone else's body.
Queen Katherine of Aragon: She's new.
King Henry viii: The Boleyn's youngest daughter, newly returned from the French court. Do you like her, Kate? Shall I keep her here at court to cheer you?
Queen Katherine of Aragon: Whatever you command, my lord.
King Henry viii: Suppose I command you to give me a son?
Queen Katherine of Aragon: Were it to God I could, Henry.
King Henry viii: Amen, but you cannot - because our marriage is a curse in heaven and hell, madam.
Dr Neuhart: I might find myself buying your pretty little body one day for a guinea or two.
Dr. Julian Winston: I must say, it's grotesque. A woman your age, throwing yourself at a kid like that.
Stephanie: And what about that eh, father-daughter thing of yours, if you don't think that's ridiculous.
Dr. Julian Winston: Well, it's different for a man. If a man is with a younger woman it looks entirely appropriate, but when it's the other way around, it's disg.
Stephanie: Well, you go to your church and I'll go to mine.
Clem: It's funny to think, though... With no air out there nobody can just open up a window.
Capt. Otto Baumann: Farce! Where are the bombers? Our reinforcements? This is the most important place in Germany, and what do we have to fight with? Old men, riff-raff, the sweepings from the road.
Major Paul Kreuger: And you, Baumann. Will you fight as hard as you talk?
Capt. Otto Baumann: You will find out when we attack.
Ellen Moore: I feel wonderful Mr Carver, I had no idea having one's appendix out could be so exhilarating. I feel ten years younger.
Frederick Carver: Splendid! Splendid.
Ellen Moore: Be honest now. Do I really look like a woman of forty?
Frederick Carver: You really feel as young as that?
Ellen Moore: No, that's what I am.
Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig: Grant us victory, O Lord, before the Americans get here.
The Narrator: Food on a chain gang is scarce and not very nourishing. The men get one hot meal a day: a bowl of steam.