Dusty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.
Carol: Everyone with their little perspective. Perspective shuts out the universe, it keeps the love out.
Bob Morales: Look it's Woody Woodpecker and Buzz Buzzard, Man they make cartoons here.
Teacher: If ya don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding! How can ya have any pudding if ya don't eat ya meat?
Nick: If anyone is getting raped in that van, it'll be a guy.
Lenny: "Skitch", how did we get here?
Guy: I led you here, sir, for I am Spartacus.
Dana Marschz: Oh my god, writing is so hard.
Nancy: Boring, Sidney, Boring.
Frank Ridgeway: Can I help you guys?
Sal Amato: Yeah, tell Tony Eddie and the Cruisers are here.
Sister Mary Robert: The only thing the chef knows how to cook is German sausage.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Day after day, liverwurst, bratwurst, beerwurst.
Sister Mary Patrick: It's the "worst."
Euripides: Yeah, yeah, I'm lickin' your balls, best balls I ever had. Uh-huh, you've got King-Kong balls. Your balls are so large, just big balls, I don't care. You just got big balls.
Violette Morhange: Do you have children?
Clément Mathieu: No. Well, yes, I have 60.
Alvin: I feel like P. Diddy with fur.
Beca: Guys, we've never competed against bands that actually have instruments. So what's the plan?
Serenity: Aw, you guys just sing other people's songs, right? Like karaoke? That's so cute.
Calamity: I'm Calamity. This is Serenity, Veracity, and Charity.
Fat Amy: If I joined your group I could be obesity.
Jim Morrison: They don't want me - they want my death.
Yevette: You wanna know what I'm feeling? I'm thrilled! Okay, thrilled. What woman wouldn't want her husband spending all day in a house full of hoes?
Count: One Green Froggy.
Lorna: You are certifiable! What is this? Some sort of smart-ass joke? You're taking cooking?
Michael: I want to learn how to cook.
Lorna: Yeah, right. You have some burning desire to learn how to make apple brown betty.
Michael: What are you doing here if you think so highly of it?
Lorna: Well, they wouldn't let me take auto mechanics, and I didn't have time to take the issue to the Supreme Court.
