Ted Baxter: It's actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realise that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?
Rhoda Morgenstern: It's a magnifying mirror! Mary, why didn't you warn me? I thought it was a relief map of the moon. When they sell those magnifying mirrors they should include a printed suicide note.
Phyllis Lindstrom: I just thought I'd see what you swingin' singles do for fun.
Rhoda Morgenstern: Same as you - sit around and wonder what it would be like to have a happy marriage.
Ted Baxter: I always like to think that our little newsroom was one big happy family. In my innocence, little did I suspect we'd be harboring a backstabber in our very bosom. I'm going to reveal the name of that person. The backstabber is.
Murray Slaughter: Isn't this were the lights go off and Ted is found dead on the floor?
Sue Ann Nivens: I was lying in bed last night and I couldn't sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.