Lou Grant: Put it on an idiot card for Ted.
Ted Baxter: Cue cards, Lou. I don't know why everyone insists on calling cue cards idiot cards.
Murray Slaughter: We just have trouble thinking of you as a cue.
Ted Baxter: It's actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realise that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?
Phyllis Lindstrom: I just thought I'd see what you swingin' singles do for fun.
Rhoda Morgenstern: Same as you - sit around and wonder what it would be like to have a happy marriage.
Lou Grant: Mary, I don't want you to take this wrong, but you're a jerk.
Mary Richards: How could I possibly take that wrong?
Mary Richards: Well it's hard for me to say no.
Ted Baxter: Say, Mary.
Mary Richards: No.
Ted Baxter: I always like to think that our little newsroom was one big happy family. In my innocence, little did I suspect we'd be harboring a backstabber in our very bosom. I'm going to reveal the name of that person. The backstabber is.
Murray Slaughter: Isn't this were the lights go off and Ted is found dead on the floor?
Sue Ann Nivens: I was lying in bed last night and I couldn't sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.
Rhoda Morgenstern: It's a magnifying mirror! Mary, why didn't you warn me? I thought it was a relief map of the moon. When they sell those magnifying mirrors they should include a printed suicide note.
Lou Grant: You know, Mary, you've got spunk.
Mary Richards: Why, thank you, Mr. Grant.
Lou Grant: I hate spunk.
Mary Richards: Well, what's the cut-off point Mr. Grant? I mean, is... is there some number? You know, I'd really like to know. How many men is a woman allowed to have before she becomes that sort of woman?
Lou Grant: Six.
