Cassandra: I'm not your sassy Cassie! I'm not your Cassie lassie! I'm not your anything and anything that stupidly rhymes with the first thing!
Poseidon: Say, brother, did I ever tell you about when I invented the marine mammal?
Hades: Uh, yeah, Poseidon, about a zillion times.
Poseidon: 'Course, the first few drowned. You know, mammals. Then it hit me: blowhole.
Hades: Why. Do they do that? What is that, some kind of verbal diarrhea?
Hades: Welcome to the Afterlife, the Unhappiest Place under Earth.
Hades: My business is dead people. If I have no dead people, my business is dead, people.
Cassandra: I can't believe all the trouble I've caused. It's so much better when you guys cause the trouble, and I get to sarcastically comment.
Parenthesis: For generations we've used the oracular reading of oxen guts to predict our student's careers, or lack thereof.
Hercules: Eeeyugh. Couldn't you use some sort of aptitude test instead?
Parenthesis: We tried that. The oxen guts were more accurate by 72%.
Pain: What evil can we inflict for you? Vengeance? Torture? Adult contemporary music?
Hades: Oh, look, a flower. Nature's little reminder... that I LOATHE spring.
Hades: Lord of the Underworld: Everybody's happy. Well, I'm happy. Everyone else is wracked with pain. Nice.
Arachne: I prefer to be called a freelance web designer.
Hades: Have your minions call my minions.
Tiresias: I used to have vast knowledge. Now they pin my room number on me.
Minotaur: Oh, so I'm a monster now? I couldn't pick my parents, you know.
Zeus: Oh, Hades. I was just looking for the Little Gods' Room.
Hades: Go in the pool.
Zeus: Is that sanitary?
