Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too - S1-E4
Magnum: I think I'm gonna have to run down this address.
Rick: This isn't exactly the high-rent district. If you go down there, I suggest you bring a gun or an alligator on a leash.
Magnum: Rick, I am looking for a schoolteacher, not a gorilla. (00:12:25)
Jack Elliot: Japanese way, 'Shut up and Take it'.
Hiroko Uchiyama: Jack's way, 'ME, ME, ME'! Sometimes acceptance and cooperation are strengths also.
Jack Elliot: Just let them have a little fun.
Uchiyama: Baseball is work. Not fun.
Jack Elliot: Baseball is grown men getting paid to play a game. When you were a kid, I bet you didn't pick up a bat and ball because you were dying to work. A player's career is short enough. Let them enjoy it.
Yoji Nishimura, Jack's Interpreter: Jack-San. If you want Yoji's advice about the babes, you come to Yoji with... respect.
Jack Elliot: Hai.
Yoji Nishimura, Jack's Interpreter: Hai? As in Yes?
Jack Elliot: Hai as in Yes.
Yoji Nishimura, Jack's Interpreter: Hmmmmm. Yes.
Jack Elliot: Baseball is a game, and games are supposed to be fun.
Major Ashley-Pitt: In our experience, Americans are uncouth misfits who should be run out of their own barbaric country.
Matthew Quigley: Well, Lieutenant.
Major Ashley-Pitt: Major.
Matthew Quigley: Major. We already run the misfits outta our country. We sent 'em back to England.
Crazy Cora: Things seem different here. They say God made Australia last, don't you know, after he got tired of making everything else the same.
Matthew Quigley: Well, I seen some pretty country, that's for certain.
Matthew Quigley: Lady, you're about a half a bubble off plumb, and that's fer sure and fer certain.
Matthew Quigley: I'm not sharing my bed 'til I'm sure who's in it.
Matthew Quigley: God created all men. Sam Colt made them equal.
Peter Mitchell: There's a quarter of a million dollars in heroin in the diaper pail and the new baby wipes are in the hall cabinet.
Peter Mitchell: I had to go to four different stores to buy four different kids of formula. Three different kids of diapers, bottles, towels, you have no idea how much crap these kids need.
Jan: Baby take very, very much work.
Peter Mitchell: Thanks for telling me that, Jan, I did not know that. What is he, an idiot savant?
Jack Holden: You're a good man, Peter.
Peter Mitchell: I'm a goddamn saint.
Jack Holden: Saint's a little much.
Peter Mitchell: I'm an architect for Christ sake, I build 50 story skyscrapers, I assemble cities of the future, I can certainly put together a goddamn diaper.
Rebecca: Jack has a baby?
Peter Mitchell: I realise such a concept tends to negate our belief in a benevolent God, but yes.
Peter Mitchell: The little insect was just waiting for that diaper to fall off!