Quotes from Simon Pegg movies and TV shows - page 2 of 3

Benji Dunn: [showing a glove.] Now remember: blue is glue.
Ethan Hunt: And red?
Benji Dunn: Dead.

Benji Dunn: Let me guess. Presumed dead?
Ethan Hunt: Well tonight, I just made it official.

Ethan Hunt: The Syndicate is real. A rogue nation, trained to do what we do.
Benji Dunn: An anti-IMF.

Benji Dunn: Join the IMF and see the world. On a screen. From a closet.

Graeme Willy: You are an alien!
Paul: To you I am, yes.
Graeme Willy: Are you gonna probe us?
Paul: *Why* does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?

Clive Gollings: What are you going to dream about?
Graeme Willy: Wonder Woman.
Clive Gollings: Please don't.

Clive Gollings: They're going to rape us and break our arms!
Graeme Willy: I don't want my arms broken.

Clive Gollings: What if we wake up and find him inserting a probe into our anus?
Graeme Willy: Well apparently they don't do that.

Ruth Buggs: So everything that I have been told my whole life, is just a big fat lie? Do you know how that feels?
Graeme Willy: Look. Just because your truth, isn't the true truth, doesn't mean there is no truth, Ruth.
Ruth Buggs: That's easy for you to say.
Graeme Willy: It's really not.

Graeme Willy: We're just two ordinary guys walking down the street with a small cowboy. Right, Clive?

Dennis: I can lose weight, but you'll always be an asshole!

Pete: It's four in the fucking morning!
Shaun: It's Saturday!
Pete: No, it's not. It's fucking Sunday. And I've got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours 'cos every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill! Now can you see why I'm SO FUCKING ANGRY?!
Ed: Fuck, yeah!

Liz: I love you, Ed
Ed: Cheers.
Shaun: I love you too, Ed.
Ed: Gay.

Shaun: Mum, what if I told you that on several occasions, he touched me. [pause.] That was made up, not true, shouldn't have said that.

Ed: I'm sorry Shaun.
Shaun: It's all right.
Ed: No no. I'm sorry, Shaun.
[Shaun smells his fart.]
Shaun: Oh now that is rotten!

Shaun: You're the one who's gone from being a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston!
David: I'm not a chartered accountant!
Shaun: Well you look like one!
David: I'm a lecturer!
Shaun: You're a twat!

Shaun: David, kill the Queen.
David: What?!
Shaun: The bloody music!

Ed: You gonna thank me then?
Shaun: For what?
Ed: Tidying up!
Shaun: Doesn't look that tidy.
Ed: Well, I had a few beers when I finished.

Shaun: You know, I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum, and my girlfriend all in the same evening.
Liz: What makes you think I've taken you back?
Shaun: Well, you don't want to die single do you?
Ed: That's it... I would like to be shot.

Shaun: He's not my boyfriend!
Ed: It might be a bit warm, the cooler's off.
Shaun: Thanks, babe.