Quotes from Scott Mechlowicz movies and TV shows

Scott: What do you mean you're dumping me?
Fiona: Scott, I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore.
Scott: What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you!
Fiona: I know. That's what makes this so hard.

Scott: Yeah... Um, listen. We're trying to get to Berlin, Germany. Do you know if there's a train coming anytime soon?
Tibor: Oh yes! Very soon! They are building it now!

Jenny: Sorry to hear about Fiona. She's a whore.
Scott: Well, that's very sweet of you. Thanks.

Scott: What the fuck is a zussamen?

Scott: Why are you wearing my bathrobe?
Bert: Oh, I'm sorry, but somebody *pissed* all over mine last night!

Scott: I told her to keep her hands off my genitals.
Cooper: Well given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want.

Cooper: Check this out! I'm the Pope!
Scott: Cooper, take off the Pope hat!
Cooper: Oh no, it's okay, I'm Catholic.

Cooper: There's got to be a hundred drunk girls here, and we should be trying to have sex with every one of them!
Jenny: Hello. Mixed company?
Cooper: What?
Jenny: I'm a girl.
Scott: No, you're not.
Cooper: Yeah, you're just a cool guy with long hair.

Scott: I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came!