Tibor: Enjoy Bratislava. It's good you came in summer, in winter it can get very depressing.
Cooper: This sucks. I can't believe I'm the only one who didn't hook up while we were here. Europe is officially the worst country on earth.
Scott: Yeah... Um, listen. We're trying to get to Berlin, Germany. Do you know if there's a train coming anytime soon?
Tibor: Oh yes! Very soon! They are building it now!
Jenny: So you just go around Europe sleeping with every woman you meet?
Christoph: No, please Jenny, it is not like that. I also sleep with men.
Scott: I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came!
Cooper: What's the etiquette on boners? Do I role over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool to just let my flag fly?
Cooper: Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!
Mieke: I'm so sad and lonely. I just wish... Someone would show up and sweep me off my German feet.
Cooper: You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, Cooper Harris, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright.
Scott: Why are you wearing my bathrobe?
Bert: Oh, I'm sorry, but somebody *pissed* all over mine last night!
Scott: What the fuck is a zussamen?
Cooper: This is just so brutal, and yet I can't look away.