Quotes from Russell Brand movies and TV shows

Arthur: What was that?
Susan: French kiss.
Arthur: Really? Because the French always surrender. That was decidedly German.

Police Sergeant: You're drunk again, Arthur.
Arthur: No, I have remained drunk since our last encounter.

Arthur: Why didn't you tell me before?
Hobson: I didn't want you to feel bad.
Arthur: Why are you telling me now?
Hobson: Because I want you to feel bad.

Arthur: I'm going to take a bath.
Hobson: I'll alert the media.

Arthur: Congratulations, you're winning the dead parent game. But it's not too late to run home and butcher my mother.

Arthur: Susan, mentally ill people are spontaneous. It's all about context.

Arthur: Who wouldn't want to marry a sexy clown?

Arthur: We don't have any thing in common. You love horses. I don't trust them. Their shoes are permanent. Who makes that kind of commitment to a shoe?

Interviewer: Do you know how to use Excel?
Arthur: No.
Interviewer: Powerpoint?
Arthur: No.
Interviewer: Outlook?
Arthur: Generally positive. You know, I mean, I have down days, like anyone.

Susan: You're running from yourself, Arthur.
Arthur: I wish I was, 'cause I'd let me get away.

Arthur: I'm talking about Tuscany! White truffle gelato! Have you ever tried white truffle gelato? It makes all other gelato taste like shit.

Arthur: Tiffany, this is my nanny Hobson, my best friend in the whole world.
Tiffany: Your nanny?
Hobson: He's merely shaped like an adult.

Edith: Can I drink this?
Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin.] Aah!

Edith: Can I drink this?
Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode?

Aldous Snow: Doesn't it make sense that we should stay here and possibly have the time of your life?

Aldous Snow: We're gonna fuck these two girls.
Aaron Green: I just got out of a relationship.
Aldous Snow: Was your ex a blonde or brunette?
Aaron Green: Brunette.
Aldous Snow: Blonde it is.

Aldous Snow: I was watching the news one day and I saw footage about, uh, war, and I think it was Darfur, or Zimbabwe, or Rwanda, or one of 'em, and I thought, 'this isn't right, is it?' And I made some phone calls and it turns out, it isn't.

Aldous Snow: When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.

Aldous Snow: I labored under the myth of monogamy for sever years with Jackie and it was pointless.
Aaron Green: So you only slept with Jackie?
Aldous Snow: No, I slept with other people but I always told her about it. Monogamy.

Aldous Snow: This is it, Aaron. This is rock n' roll. Did you enjoy the party?