Dr. Heywood Floyd: I do seem to remember a process where you people ask me questions and I give you answers, and then I ask you questions and you give me answers, and that's the way we find out things. I think I read that in a manual somewhere.
Quotes from Roy Scheider movies and TV shows
Tanya Kirbuk: We are going to send a probe.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Gooood.
HAL 9000: Do you want me to repeat the message, Dr. Floyd?
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Who recorded it?
HAL 9000: This is not a recording.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Who's sending it?
HAL 9000: There is no identification.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: I don't understand.
HAL 9000: Neither do I.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Is this message by voice or keyboard?
HAL 9000: I don't know.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: I don't know if HAL is homicidal, suicidal, neurotic, psychotic, or just plain broken.
Dimitri Moisevitch: I want to play a game with you, Dr. Floyd.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: I don't have time for games.
Dimitri Moisevitch: This is a good game. It's called "The Truth." For two minutes, I will tell only the truth, and so will you.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Two minutes?
Dimitri Moisevitch: Two minutes.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: Make it a minute and a half.
Dimitri Moisevitch: One minute and three quarters.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: You start.
Caroline Floyd: I want to be grown-up and understanding about all this, I really do... I try so hard, but I can't. This won't bring those men back. You've been killing yourself over something you did, or something you didn't do right, and now you're looking for absolution... You know, you could get yourself killed.
Dr. Heywood Floyd: I'll be scared enough for both of us.
Joe Gideon: No, nothing I ever do is good enough. Not beautiful enough, it's not funny enough, it's not deep enough, it's not anything enough. Now, when I see a rose, that's perfect. I mean, that's perfect. I want to look up to God and say, "How the hell did you do that? And why the hell can't I do that?"
Angelique: Now that's probably one of your better con lines.
Joe Gideon: Yeah, it is. But that doesn't mean I don't mean it.
Joe Gideon: I always look for the worst in other people.
Angelique: A little of yourself in them?
Joe Gideon: A little of myself. And generally, I find it.
Joe Gideon: Do you suppose Stanley Kubrick ever gets depressed?
Joe Gideon: Sometimes I don't know where the bullshit ends and the truth begins.
Michelle Gideon: It's just that I keep wondering, Dad. Why don't you get married again?
Joe Gideon: I don't get married again because I can't find anyone I dislike enough to inflict that kind of torture on.
Angelique: Do you believe in love?
Joe Gideon: I believe in saying, "I love you."
Victoria: Well, you're right. I'm terrible. I know I'm terrible. I look at the mirror and I'm ashamed. Maybe I should quit. I just can't seem to do anything right.
Joe Gideon: Listen. I can't make you a great dancer. I don't even know if I can make you a good dancer. But, if you keep trying and don't quit, I know I can make you a better dancer. I'd like very much to do that. Stay?
Victoria: Are you going to keep yelling at me?
Joe Gideon: Probably.
Chief Martin Brody: You're gonna need a bigger boat.
Chief Martin Brody: Smile, you son of a bitch.
Martin Brody: I think we've got another shark problem.
Mayor Larry Vaughn: Are you serious?
Martin Brody: You bet I'm serious.
Martin Brody: You don't have to worry about being sued or being ruined if this turns out to be what I think it is, because there won't be anybody here!
Martin Brody: Alright, you big bastard! Come On! I've got something for ya' now! That's it! Attaboy, come one! Right over here! Open wide OPEN WIDE! SAY AAH!
Ellen Brody: That's your third smoke already!
Martin Brody: With coffee...
Ellen Brody: Try a donut.
Martin Brody: I mean, it's obvious that a big fish took a bite out of... This big fish.
Dr. Elkins: This is a mammal. Not a fish.
Martin Brody: Don't quibble with me! Is it a shark bite or isn't it?
Dr. Elkins: Possibly. Again, this is a killer whale, wouldn't have to be a shark a considerable size.