Quotes from Robert De Niro movies and TV shows - page 8 of 10

Jack Byrnes: I mean, can you ever really trust another human being, Greg?
Greg Focker: Sure, I think so.
Jack Byrnes: No. The answer is you cannot.

Dina Byrnes: Looks like we've got another wedding to plan.
Jack Byrnes: Yep. Just got to do one more thing.
Dina Byrnes: What's that?
Jack Byrnes: Meet his parents.
Dina Byrnes: Jack.
Jack Byrnes: Honey, relax. I'm sure they're wonderful, fascinating people.
Dina Byrnes: Good night, Jack.
Jack Byrnes: I mean, they'd have to be, right? To name their son Gaylord Focker?

Jack Byrnes: Greg's a male nurse.
Greg Focker: Yes. Thank you, Jack.
Kevin: Wow, that's great. I'd love to find time to do some volunteer work. Just the other day I saw a golden retriever, he had like a gimp, ya know I just wish I could have done something.
Greg Focker: Yeah, well I get paid too so it's sort of an everyone wins thing.

Jack Byrnes: You tried to milk him, didn't you you sick son of a bitch?

Kevin: There he is. Okay, G-Man, we've got swordfish and we've got salmon, what'll it be?
Greg Focker: How 'bout a little of both, K-Dog, I'm pretty hungry.
Jack Byrnes: I think they call that the 'munchies'.

Jack Walsh: Here come two words for you: shut the fuck up.

Jack Walsh: I never took a payoff in my life and I'm not gonna to start with someone like you.
Jonathan Mardukas: Why not?
Jack Walsh: 'Cause you're a fuckin' criminal and you deserve to go where you're goin' and I'm gonna take you there. And if I hear anymore shit out of you I'm gunna fuckin' bust your head, I'm gunna put you back in fuckin' hole, and I'm gunna stick your head in the fuckin' toilet-bowl and I'm gunna make it stay there.

Young Noodles: You'll put up, and you'll shut up! You hear nothing, and you see nothing! Just like you did for Bugsy.

Officer 'Fartface' Whitey: Okay, boys, we're even.
Young Noodles: The hell we are.
Young Max: You'll be collecting your pension before we're even.

Max: You know, I've been watching you all night, and you've been drinking like a fish. Trying to get your courage up? We're only bringing in a shipment of booze, it's got so you're even scared to do that. Maybe you just better stay home tonight, with Eve.
Noodles: Hey, Maxie, everywhere you go, I go too. Remember that.
Max: Maybe Sharkey was right. Maybe I ought to just dump you.
Noodles: You're really crazy.
Max: Never say that. Don't say it.

Noodles: I always thought you might have helped yourself to that million bucks. But now I know. Yeah, you're on your ass worse than ever.
Fat Moe: But I thought it was you who.
Noodles: No, you thought wrong. The suitcase was empty.
Fat Moe: Then who took it?
Noodles: That's what I've been asking myself for 35 years.

Young Patsy: Hey, stop by for you later.
Young Noodles: Yeah, but knock here on the john first! My old man's praying, and my old lady's crying, and the light's turned off. What the hell should I go home for? At least in here I can read.

Jake La Motta: Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, ya son of a bitch.

Jake La Motta: Did Salvy fuck Vickie?
Joey LaMotta: What?
Jake La Motta: Did Salvy fuck Vickie?
Joey LaMotta: Jack. Jack, don't start your shit. I mean it, don't start.

Jake La Motta: Look at that. Look how they make me look. Like a bum, like a mammalucco.
Joey LaMotta: A what?
Jake La Motta: Like the mammalucco of the year.

Jake La Motta: You punch like you take it up the ass.

Jake La Motta: I heard things.

Jake La Motta: Come on, hit me. Harder. Harder.
Joey LaMotta: What the fuck do you want? That's hard. What are you trying to prove?

Jake La Motta: I get ya's both in the ring, I'll give ya both a fuckin' beatin', ya both can fuck each other.

Joey LaMotta: They only gave him that fuckin' decision because he's goin' in the Army next week. That's the only reason.
Jake La Motta: I knocked him down. I don't know what else I gotta do. I don't know what I gotta do.
Joey LaMotta: You won and they robbed ya! They're miserable because their mothers take it up the fuckin' ass! That's why.
Jake La Motta: I've done a lot of bad things, Joey. Maybe it's comin' back to me. Who knows? I'm a jinx maybe. Who the hell knows?