Quotes from Rik Mayall movies and TV shows

Richie: Well Eddie, we learn something new every day. Today I learned that you're a complete bastard!

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Elizabeth: Go away!
Drop Dead Fred: Go away? Why do you want me to go away? Fine! Say the magic words and I'll piss off.
Elizabeth: Piss off!
Drop Dead Fred: Ha! Gotcha. Those weren't the magic words.
Polly: What did you say?
Drop Dead Fred: She told you to piss off.

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Richard Twat: As we always say at the Guest House Paradiso: Have fun, don't go in the water if you know what's good for you and try not to get shit on the sheets.

Richard Twat: I trust you've slept well?
Mr Johnson: We had rather a rough night actually.
Richard Twat: Ah well, the perils of adultery.

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Alan B'Stard: If your IQ was any lower, you'd need watering.

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