Quotes from Mike Judge movies and TV shows

Beavis: Hey Beavis, you know how sometimes we get a ride home from school, and there's all those dudes crammed together in the backseat?
Butt-head: Yeah, why?
Beavis: Um, heh heh, it is normal to get wood?
Butt-head: Beavis, you boner-popping pervert... it's not even normal to ASK.

Butt-head: You didn't score.
Beavis: Yeah, but I came close.
Butt-head: Yeah, but close only counts in horseshoes and like... lemonade.
Beavis: What?

Woman in music video: I feel like such an ass.
Butt-head: I feel like an ass too. Beavis, go out and get me an ass.
Beavis: Heh-heh, okay. Would you like some boobs to go with that?

Beavis: Yes, yes, fire, fire, fire.

Beavis: Hey Butt-head, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?
Butt-head: Beavis, it's not even normal to ask.

Butt-head: Beavis, I told you I wasn't gonna let you touch the remote anymore. Now, give me that, buttknocker.
Beavis: No, way. And stop calling me buttknocker.
Butt-head: Give it here before I kick your buttknockering ass.
Beavis: Stop calling me that, Butt-head! Stop it.
Butt-head: Buttknocker.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! Shut up! I'm gonna kill you, Butt-head! I swear to go God, I'm gonna kill you.
Butt-head: You and what other buttknocker?

Butt-Head: Step aside please. We have white privilege.

Butt-Head: Beavis, what the hell are you doing?
Beavis: Did we win the science fair?
Butt-Head: Even better, Beavis. We kicked its ass.

Beavis: I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole.

Butt-Head: Beavis, you're a dumbass.

Beavis: Do not disrespect my bunghole.

Bill Clinton: In recognition of your great service, I'm appointing you honorary agents in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
Butt-head: Whoa. Alcohol and tobacco?
Beavis: Yeah. And firearms! Yeah.
Bill Clinton: Cool, huh?
Butt-head: Cigarettes and beer kick ass.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. We're in the bureau of beer and fire and cigarettes. And maybe some chicks, too.

Tom Anderson: Boy, I tell you what, it really makes ya proud. I could stay in here all day.
FBI Agent: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Tom Anderson: Boy, I never seen two kids do so much damned whacking.

Butt-head: Whoa, cool. Hey, can I have a gun, too?

Butt-head's Dad: Hey, one of you bastards got a match?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah. My butt and your, uh, butt. Uh huh huh.

Beavis: This sucks. It's all hot and stuff.
Butt-head: This desert is stupid. They need to put a drinking fountain out here.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. Or, like a 7-Eleven or something.

Marcie Anderson: They're here to look at the TV, Tom.
Tom Anderson: What? The TV ain't broken.
Beavis: Uh, yeah it is.

Beavis: Something's wrong with my butt.
Butt-head: Your butt sucks.

Little Old Lady: I'm sorry. You have to speak up, son. I have this ringing in my ears. My doctor says it could be related to my heart palpitations.
Beavis: Really? I poop too much.
Little Old Lady: Oh. Maybe you're lactose intolerant.
Beavis: I mean... No, no. I poop too much! And then I get tired.