Stella Oleson: I should have fought harder, kept Wilson here.
Sheriff Eben Oleson: It's hard to stop someone when their family's at stake. The things you'll do to save your own.
Stella Oleson: We were like that once... weren't we?
The Stranger: Mr. And Mrs. Sheriff. So sweet. So helpless against what is coming.
Stella Oleson: He's just trying to freak us out.
Jake Oleson: It's working.
Sheriff Eben Oleson: We have more important things to think about. I'll check on Gus.
The Stranger: Check on Gus. Board the windows. Try to hide. They're coming. This time they're gonna take me with them... honor me. Yeah. For all that I have done.
Sheriff Eben Oleson: They? Who are they?
Jake Oleson: I saw them feeding on Grandma Helen. They're like, vampires, you know?
Stella Oleson: Vampires don't exist, Jake.
Cleo Miller: Did you say you are pregnant or you were pregnant. You had it, threw it out, and now you're gonna go dance all night?
Cleo Miller: Can you imagine, Conan's head on Keanu's body? Unstoppable.
Cleo Miller: The baby's got two heads.
Lucy Whitman: It's twins.
Diane: I'm not just super fat.
