Sid: I'm no role model. I'm a junkie and a thief.
Holly Body: I do not do animal acts. I do not do S&M or any variations of that particular bent, no water sports either. I will not shave my pussy, no fistfucking and absolutely no coming in my face. I get $2000 a day and I do not work without a contract.
Jake Scully: I like to watch.
Holly Body: Makes you hot, doesn't it?
Jake Scully: Yeah.
Holly Body: Makes me hot too. Why don't you come over here and I'll show you how hot?
Assistant at Bewitched: You're wanted on the set.
Lucille: Honey, I'm wanted in seven states.
Frank Wheeler: My mother died before I was born.
V: I don't think that's possible.
Frank Wheeler: OK she had me first and then she died right after.
V: Don't worry. I've seen the Brady Bunch. Nothing bad ever happens to you people.
Willard Young: I'm always afraid of things. I don't know why, but I am. And I just thought if I did something that really scared me, maybe I wouldn't be afraid anymore.
Lily Reed: Did it work?
Willard Young: Yeah... it did.
Ed Leland: Forget about dying. You're not allowed to die.
Linda Voss: I've never seen you look scared before.
Ed Leland: I don't want to loose you. I want to be with you, always.
Linda Voss: Oh God, you wouldn't say that unless you were sure I was gonna die.
Ed Leland: Do you know what you're getting yourself into, Linda?
Linda Voss: Yeah, the war.
Linda Voss: It surprised no-one that Ed was too stubborn to die.
Linda Voss: If you don't let me go, I'll quit.
Ed Leland: I'll miss you.
Linda Voss: To my father I spoke German. But he warned me to keep this language a secret, because outside of our neighborhood in Queens New York, if people heard me speak German they would either think that I was a Nazi sympathizer, or they would know I was a Jew.
Alice Baxter: Maybe now would be a good time to go over what you expect of me.
Tess McGill: I expect you to call me Tess. I don't expect you to fetch me coffee unless you're getting some for yourself. And the rest we'll just make up as we go along.
Katherine Parker: Ugh! What a slob.
Tess McGill: You were so smooth with him.
Katherine Parker: Never burn bridges. Today's junior prick, tomorrow's senior partner.
Tess McGill: What if he doesn't?.. pop the question?
Katherine Parker: I really don't think that's a variable. We're in the same city now, I've indicated that I'm receptive to an offer, I've cleared the month of June... and I am, after all, me.
Jack Trainer: You're the first woman I've seen at one of these things that dresses like a woman, not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he was a woman.
Tess McGill: Thank you I guess.
Tess McGill: I am not steak. You can't just order me.
