Quotes from Megan Mullally movies and TV shows

Karen: Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a killer rack! Good morning!

Karen: Good Lord. I can't believe I'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me?

Karen: [storming angrily out of the Principal's Office.] You dragged me down to this God-forsaken place to tell me my kids made the Honor Roll? Honey, my time is precious, call me when one of them gives birth at the prom!

Bathroom Humor - S8-E11

Rosario: I'm sorry lady, I sent them invitations by mistake.
Karen: [sighs.] Oh yeah? I think the real mistake was when your father spotted your mother across a crowded swamp, dragged her back to his hut and made you.
Rosario: I never should have shown you our home movies.

Grace: I want to marry..."the one."
Karen: And well you should, honey. How else are you going to get to "the two" and "the three"?

Karen: [to Will.] By your inflection I can tell that you think what you're saying is funny, but... No.

Karen: It's a victimless crime, like tax evasion or public indecency.

Karen: Oh, coulda shoulda prada!

Karen: Hey Hey Hey Hey, This is a place of business! We are trying to get some work done in here and we don't need you just barging... Wait, I'm saying it and I don't even buy it!

Karen: Sorry I'm late. Oh God, that sounded insincere... I'm late!

Karen: You say potato, I say vodka.

Karen: Grace Alden. I'm ashamed...
Grace: Adler. My last name is Adler.
Karen: Oh... That's pretty.

Karen: Anyone homo?
Jack: I am. I am.

A Little Christmas Queer - S8-E9

Karen: Well, the tousled hair, the slightly smeared lipstick, the disheveled clothing. Either you're on your way to work or the holiday whore is back.

Von Trapped - S8-E10

Grace: Do you think people can tell I'm Maria even though I don't have my Captain Von Trapp?
Karen: Of course, honey. You make a perfect Maria...you're sweet and perky and you're obviously not cut out to be a nun. 'Cause you're a whore.
Grace: Thanks, Karen!
Karen: And a Jew...
Grace: Yeah, I got it!

Pilot - S1-E1

Will Truman: Where's Grace?
Karen Walker: Oh honey, thank God. How do you say toy store in Spanish?
Will Truman: Tienda de juguetes.
Karen Walker: Uh-huh, thanks. F-A-O-yeah-Schwartzo. Si si­ Rosario, gracias. Hola.

My Fair Maidy - S1-E12

Karen: You know what those rocks need? A little scotch.

Secrets & Lays - S1-E17

Grace: Your cook's name is 'Cook'?'
Karen: No, Grace, he has a name. I just don't remember it. No wait a minute, it'll come to me, it'll come to me..."Where are my damned eggs... Paul!" Paul. God, Paul is dead. Now who the hell is gonna cook for us?!

Secrets & Lays - S1-E17

Karen: Stan had to take the kids down to Scaresdale to see their real mother. What was her name? Wait a minute, it'll come to me..."Stan, take the kids to see that bitch...Kathy!"

My Uncle the Car - S3-E15

[Grace tries to start the car, but it just clicks.]
Grace: That's weird. Will, what do you think is wrong?
Karen: Oh my God. She just asked a fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car!
Will: Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that.