Quotes from Kenneth Williams movies and TV shows

Stuart Farquhar: Afternoon, Miss Dobbs, a lovely day for it.
Miss Dobbs: That's what they all say, Mr Farquhar, but it won't get you anywhere.
Stuart Farquhar: I meant for the Elsbels trip, Miss Dobbs.

Stuart Farquhar: Please, Miss Plunkett, you're squashing my itinerary.
Moira Plunkett: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I keep on forgetting what a big girl I am now.
Stuart Farquhar: Quite, shall we get them out now?
Moira Plunkett: Why, Mr Farquhar.
Stuart Farquhar: The people for the coach, I mean.
Moira Plunkett: Oh, those. Yes, of course.

Stuart Farquhar: My name is Stuart Farquhar, the representative of Wundatours.
Pepe: Stupid what?
Stuart Farquhar: Stuart! stuart farquhar.
Pepe: Ahh, you Mr. Farqiarse.

Julius Caesar: I've cleaned up this city. Have you forgotten my slogan? 'Nihil expectore in omnibus' - no spitting on the public transport.

Julius Caesar: Tony.
Mark Antony: Julie! I caught you with your toga up.
Julius Caesar: Oh yes, I'm sorry I've caught something, one of these local things I can't seem to shake off. It's called "a-stinking-cold".

Bilius: I'm sorry Caesar but for the good of Rome, you must die.
Julius Caesar: But you're my personal bodyguard and champion gladiator, I don't want to die! I may not be a very good live emperor but I'd be a worse one dead.

Brutus: The senate are worried about matters in the east, the affairs involving Ptolemy and Cleopatra.
Julius Caesar: Are they having an affair? Oh do tell.

Bilius: Caesar, there is a messenger here without.
Julius Caesar: I'm not surprised, if we stay here much longer we'll all be without.

Sam: I never did get to know exactly what she'd done that was so wrong.
Judge Burke: Old Ben was a friend of mine Sam, and she killed him.
Doc: It was his own fault. He was ninety-two. I warned him not to marry her.

Emile Prevert: Why me? You could have Tom, Dick or Harry.
Emmannuelle Prevert: I don't want Tom or Harry.

Sir Bernard Cutting: I've got a problem.
Dr. Francis A. Goode: Haven't we all got a problem?
Sir Bernard Cutting: I can't do it lying down.
Dr. Francis A. Goode: Oh dear, you have got a problem.

Matron: I'm a simple woman with simple tastes, and I want to be wooed.
Sir Bernard Cutting: Ooh, you can be as 'wude' as you like with me.

The Khasi of Kalabar: May the benevolence of the god Shivoo bring blessings on your house.
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond: And on yours.
The Khasi of Kalabar: And may his wisdom bring success in all your undertakings.
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond: And in yours.
The Khasi of Kalabar: And may his radiance light up your life.
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond: And up yours.