Quotes from Kathy Bates movies and TV shows

Larry Hertzel: All I was doing was welcoming somebody into the family.
Roberta Hertzel: Larry, we've been welcomed by you, thank you so much, now would you please just drink your fucking milk and shut the fuck up.

Roberta Hertzel: People used to think it was strange 'cause I breast-fed him 'til he was almost five, but I say - hunh, just look at the results.

Sunny Soke: Well bless your heart. Cheap little fucker.

Joe St. George: What are you talking about, I never touched Selena.
Dolores Claiborne: Oh yeah? Well then how come you're making a face like the devil just reached down and grabbed those little raisins you call balls?

Dolores Claiborne: Go ahead and take what you want. I ain't doin' any beauty pageants today.

Dolores Claiborne: I got another surprise for you, Joe.
Joe St. George: What, did someone invent a pill to cure ugly?

Dolores Claiborne: Now, you listen to me, Mr. Grand High Poobah of Upper Buttcrack, I'm just about half-past give a shit with your fun and games.

Vera Donovan: I want my china pig.
Dolores Claiborne: Which one? There's only about two-hundred of 'em.

Dolores Claiborne: If you wanna know what kind of life a person had, just look at their hands.

Dolores Claiborne: It was just a bad patch.
Selena St. George: I had a fucking nervous breakdown, mother.

Dolores Claiborne: Hell ain't somethin' you get thrown into overnight. Nope. Real hell comes on you slow and steady as a line of wet winter sheets.

Dolores Claiborne: You must have boyfriends. Beautiful girl like you, smart and out in the world... You tellin' me there's nobody?
Selena St. George: I'm telling you there's a lot of nobodies.

Dolores Claiborne: So you can just go and fuck yourself. That is if you can get that limp old noodle of yours to stand up.

Kid on street: Look.
Kid on street: Hey Miss Claiborne.
Kid on street: Kill anyone else today?
Dolores Claiborne: Not just yet, when I change my mind I'll know exactly where to start.

Dolores Claiborne: I did not murder that bitch any more than I'm wearing a diamond tiara.

Selena St. George: That is the last guy in the world you want to make an enemy out of.
Dolores Claiborne: I ain't makin' one, I'm keepin' one.

Al: We ain't buying that chair.
Sue: I am getting this polka-dot chair. I've got my own money.
Al: Unless you start dancing again, you're broke.

Evelyn Couch: Did you hear that?
Ed Couch: What?
Evelyn Couch: The train.
Ed Couch: No, I didn't hear no train.
Evelyn Couch: Ah, nothing I guess.

Ed Couch: What the hell's this?
Evelyn Couch: That's a low cholesterol meal. Happy Valentine's.
Ed Couch: God! Are you trying to kill me?
Evelyn Couch: If I was gonna kill you, I'd use my hands.

Ninny Threadgoode: Did you know they took my gallbladder out?
Evelyn Couch: Uh, no I didn't.
Ninny Threadgoode: Oh yes, still in the hospital in a jar. I guess that's where they keep them.
Evelyn Couch: I guess.