Quotes from Joanna Lumley movies and TV shows

Eddie: Patsy hasn't eaten since 1974.
Patsy: A crisp, darling. A crisp.

Eddie: Is champas all right with you Pats?
Patsy: Lovely darling.
Eddie: Should we finish off the beluga or should we have some smoked salmon nibbly things?
Patsy: Oh whatever sweetie.
Eddie: All right, we'll finish off the beluga.

Patsy: It's fabulous darling.

Eddie: Pats...
Patsy: Yes, Eddy?
Eddie: You have no morals, darling.

Eddie: All right, time for another little drinkie before we go?
Saffie: Where are you going?
Eddie: New York.
Saffie: I didn't think they let people with convictions in.
Eddie: Darling, it's not a conviction.
Patsy: Just a firm belief.

Eddie: With any luck we'd get Roman Polanski interested in you.
Patsy: She was never young enough for him.

Countess Chandra: Darling?
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes, my darling?
Countess Chandra: You're smoking the wrong end.
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Yes... I knew that. You don't have to tell me I am smoking zhe wrong end. Do you know why I am smoking zhe wrong end?
Countess Chandra: No darling, but I'm sure you've got a very good reason.
Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: You're right! I am smoking on zhe wrong end, because I have a very good reason.

Bif: How did your Internet date go at the weekend?
Jackie: Well, let's just say I got more than I bargained for.
Bif: Ooh, lucky you.
Jackie: No, he showed up with his wife in tow. Turns out I'd clicked swinging instead of swimming on my list of likes.

Jackie: Surely becoming a free woman is better than being a kept lady.

Steel: We know that Tony Purnell was in love with Anne Shaw, Mullrine's secretary.
Sapphire: Not necessarily in love, he was... using her.
Steel: There's a difference?
Sapphire: On this planet, yes.