Quotes from Jim Breuer movies and TV shows

Brian: You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace.
Thurgood Jenkins: Obviously you missed the whole point of that story, Brian.

Thurgood Jenkins: You know I got some weed at work today, if y'all wanna try it out.
Scarface: Nah, we don't feel like smokin right now.
Thurgood Jenkins: Me neither. So y'all wanna smoke?
Scarface: I'll get Billy Bong Thornton.
Brian: No man. No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny. That wouldn't be right. Get Wesley Pipes. Yeah.

Brian: Hey, Jan... will you be my girlfriend?
Jan: Well, I would, but I'm gay. I'm a big dyke.
Brian: Oh. What's that like?

Scarface: Don't worry, man. All we gotta do to get you out is to get ten percent of ten million dollars. Which by our calculations is.
Brian: ...Fucking impossible, man.

Brian: I'm not gonna do what everyone thinks I'm gonna do and... flip OUT man... all I wanna know is... who's coming with me? Who's coming, man? Who's coming with me?

Brian: For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man.
Thurgood Jenkins: Who the fuck told you that?
Brian: The man who sold it to me, Barry Garcia.
Thurgood Jenkins: So who is that, Jerry Garcia's brother?
Brian: No, actually it was Andy Garcia's brother.

Detective: Hey! You paying attention?
Brian: No.