Quotes from Goldie Hawn movies and TV shows - page 2 of 3

Tony Carlson: I think we got off on the wrong foot.
Gloria Mundy: Yes, and it seems to be in your mouth.
Tony Carlson: OK, I deserve that. Listen, it's Gloria, right? You're a really nice girl and I'm a nice guy, and you're very pretty with or without cleavage, and what do you say... would you like to take a shower?
Gloria Mundy: I don't pick up strange men.
Tony Carlson: Well, that's your problem.
Gloria Mundy: So why don't you try it?

Gloria Mundy: Take me home.
Stanley Tibbits: What?
Gloria Mundy: Take me home, please.
Stanley Tibbits: Uh, sure. Um... my place or-or, yours?
Gloria Mundy: Which is closer?

Gloria Mundy: Do you have any binoculars?
Stanley Tibbits: What's that? Binoculars. Are you into that, too? Me, as well. I read about it in Penthouse. Just a second.

Bob Scott: Beware of the dwarf.
Gloria Mundy: Gee Scotty, I don't think there is a dwarf in this movie.

Tony Carlson: What do you say to a bottle of wine and a couple of steaks?
Gloria Mundy: Well, you could start by saying, "Hello."

Tony Carlson: Gloria, just sit back and enjoy the fire. I'm pouring you a nice, warm, albino martini. Here you go, drink this, then it's off to bed.
Gloria Mundy: You should have been a doctor.
Tony Carlson: Okay, we'll play whatever you like.

Gwen: Don't yell at me, we're only pretending to be married.

Newton Davis: Where did all this furniture come from?
Gwen: Bigelows.

Gwen: I think this marriage is worth saving.
Newton Davis: What marriage?

Newton Davis: Tell me why for God's sake did you come here?
Gwen: I just wanted to see what it would be like to live in that picture.

Gwen: I really didn't intend for it to get this elaborate, it's just that everyone around here keeps treating me like I'm somebody... except you.

Gwen: I don't want your goddamn money.
Newton Davis: No, just my goddamn house.

Joanna: What's my name?
Dean Proffitt: Mrs. Annie Proffitt.
Joanna: Well what's my maiden name?
Dean Proffitt: Annie Goolaheey.
Joanna: Annie goolahey... Where in God's name did I grow up, Dogpatch?
Dean Proffitt: No, not there honey over in Goober, Idaho but it's a nuclear waste dump.

Joanna: You know forks were invented so that man could at least make a pretense of separating himself from the apes.
Dean Proffitt: So were thumbs.
Joanna: What did you say?
Dean Proffitt: Nothing. It was... my stomach.
Joanna: Well try to control your bodily noises so I can hear myself think.

Joanna Stayton/Annie Proffitt: I'm not a bitch. andrew. Are you going to bring me my lemon or do I have to squeeze it from my hat?

Joanna: Thank you Dean! Thank you for bringing me here and making a wife, and a mother and WHY DID you DO that?

Joanna Stayton/Annie Proffitt: I just... ate a bug.

Joanna: Captain Karl?
Capt. Karl: Yes madam?
Joanna: We've never really had time to talk.
Capt. Karl: No, we haven't.
Joanna: Well, there's no time now.

Joanna Stayton/Annie Proffitt: Try to understand, Grant, I don't love you anymore.
Grant Stayton: What's love got to do with marriage?

Capt. Doreen Lewis: Benjamin, you are not FIT to wear that uniform.
Judy Benjamin: No shit.