G.G. Sparrow: Well, I am who I am.
Vi Rose Hill: Well, maybe you were... five procedures ago.
Quotes from Dolly Parton movies and TV shows
G.G. Sparrow: Get your butt off my table, I eat there.
G.G. Sparrow: Who cares if I've had a few little nips and tucks? God didn't make plastic surgeons so they could starve.
Doralee Rhodes: You know... I just don't get it, Dwayne.
Dwayne Rhodes: What's that, honey?
Doralee Rhodes: I'm as nice as I know how to be to every single person in that office. Everyone treats me like a... bastard at a family reunion.
Violet Newstead: What could we use to keep Hart quiet?
Judy Bernly: Blackmail?
Violet Newstead: Blackmail, oh that sounds good! What could we get on him...?
Judy Bernly: A sex scandal! Take a picture of him in bed with a prositute.
Doralee Rhodes: No, who'd care?
Violet Newstead: Yeah, Hart would just buy up all the copies and then distribute them as Christmas cards.
Violet Newstead: Oh, God. They know about the rat poison. I might as well just turn myself in.
Doralee Rhodes: Violet, it was an accident.
Violet Newstead: I'm a murderer.
Judy Bernly: No, you're not.
Violet Newstead: I'm a murderess. I'm gonna go to the pen. My poor kids. I'm gonna lose my job.
Judy Bernly: Violet, stop this.
Violet Newstead: I'm no fool. I've killed the boss, you think they're not gonna fire me for a thing like that?
Doralee Rhodes: That's just great! We just waltz into the hospital and say, "We're sorry, we made a mistake." Well, maybe they'll give us Hart's body in exchange.
Violet Newstead: There is no need to get sarcastic.
Truvy: Sammy is so confused he doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.
Truvy: Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say is all her tattoos are spelled correctly.
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