Harlan: There's no way you're telling me that thing back there is from Earth.
Chris McCormick: All right! They're spiders from Mars! You happy?
Harlan: No.
Mike: Take these, you'll need them.
Chris McCormick: Perfume?
Mike: Well, spiders have a highly developed sense of smell. The perfume might confuse them.
Harlan: Great, if we die, we die smelling nice.
Harlan: That's the one who busted up my trailer.
Chris McCormick: Shh.
Harlan: I bet you he's their leader.
Chris McCormick: I got a signal.
Harlan: That's great. Now, how about dialing.
Chris McCormick: Harlan, get up here.
Harlan: I'm afraid of heights.
Chris McCormick: Heights? Are you afraid of spiders?
Rob Geller: See ya around the Cell Block, Mrs. Robinson.
Rob Geller: I'm the coleslaw king of the world.
Gordie Boggs: What about Wendy? She digs you.
Sean Dawkins: No... she's too much like one of the guys.
Gordie Boggs: That's bad?
Sean Dawkins: That's gay.
Gordie Boggs: Hey kid! Move your fat head. I can't see the fight.
Sean Dawkins: Sorry, Uncle Billy said these were good seats.
Gordie Boggs: Uncle Billy sucks.
Sean Dawkins: Hey, Uncle Billy lost his right nut in 'nam.
Gordie Boggs: Well kick him in his left nut when you see him. These seats bite.
Sean Dawkins: If you only have one left, is it still your left nut?
Sean Dawkins: Tonight we rejoice! We rejoice with the King in his motorcastle.
Gordie Boggs: Partyyy.
Sean Dawkins: We're gonna be there! We're going.
Mrs. MacKenzie: Get me a T-shirt... a really tight one.
Gordie Boggs: That's gross, Mrs. MacKenzie.
Gordie Boggs: You guys better get out of here. My dad'll shoot you. He will.
Sean Dawkins: All right, it's a little strange! But what are we supposed to do?
Gordie Boggs: Exactly.
Sean Dawkins: What?
Sean Dawkins: Hey Gordy?
Gordie Boggs: Yea?
Sean Dawkins: Why does it look like you have your finger in your butt?
Gordie Boggs: Because I do... stupid.
Gordie Boggs: We're going back to basics. To find our heart.
Sasha: Can I come?
Gordie Boggs: No, because you don't have one.
Sean Dawkins: I'll get the... um, um, um... the cheeseburger Maxi Meal.
Gordie Boggs: ...and the Brittany bare-ass buffet.
Sheriff Dewey Riley: One generation's tragedy is the next one's joke.
Gale Weathers-Riley: Dewey, what's going on?
Sheriff Dewey Riley: That is not public information.
Gale Weathers-Riley: It's all over the Internet!
Sheriff Dewey Riley: It is?
Neighbor: Hey, shutup down there.
Gordon: I'm covered in ca-ca.
