Quotes from Danny DeVito movies and TV shows - page 3 of 3

[The phone rings].
Sam Stone: Hello? Debbie? Yeah, Debbie's here, who's this? Well Ralph, Debbie can't talk right now, my dick's in her mouth. How about I have her call you back when I'm done. [Hangs up phone] I love wrong numbers!

Owen: Where are you going?
Larry: I'm gonna kill the bitch. You want something?
Owen: Could you get me a Chunky?

Momma: Owen! Food.
Owen: In a minute, Momma.
Momma: Don't you "In a minute, Momma" me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! I want two soft-boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly goddammit! And don't burn the toast.
Owen: Kill her, Larry.

Owen: She didn't feel a thing, Professor Donner. I know how important that is to you not to have her feel a thing.
Larry: Who?
Owen: Your wife. She had a little trouble walking, but that was from the gardener.
Larry: You saw my wife?
Owen: She was kind of a tart, Larry. Although I can see why you married her. She was very beautiful.

Owen: Larry! I can't breathe.
Larry: Yes! That's because I'm choking you.

Al: The whole point of love is to put someone else's needs above your own.