Eddie Valiant: That lame-brain freeway idea could only be cooked up by a toon.
Eddie Valiant: Scotch on the rocks... And I MEAN ICE!
Eddie Valiant: So why come to me? I'm the one who took the pictures of your wife.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, and you're also the one who helped all these toons. Everyone knows that when a toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go: Valiant and Valiant.
Eddie Valiant: Not anymore.
Dolores: I thought you said you'd never take another toon case. What did you have a change of heart?
Eddie Valiant: Nothing's changed. Somebody's made a patsy outta me and I'm gonna find out why!
Dolores: Well, you wanna tell me what she was doing with her arms around you?
Eddie Valiant: Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife.
Dolores: Oh come on, Eddie, I caught you with your PANTS DOWN!
Roger Rabbit: Yeah. Check the probate. Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water.
Eddie Valiant: Not prostate, you idiot, PROBATE!
Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?
Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh...
Eddie Valiant: Who?
Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, the green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know! But the liquor store guy... He knew.
Eddie Valiant: In other words, the whole town knows you're here! Get out!
Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
Eddie Valiant: Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning.
R.K. Maroon: You've got it all wrong! I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer!
Eddie Valiant: Everybody's gotta have a hobby!
