Quotes from Ben Stiller movies and TV shows - page 4 of 6

Tugg Speedman: Wait, guys, are you telling me you're giving up on the movie? I thought we were supposed to be a team, a unit.
Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.

Tugg Speedman: I am a rooster illusion!
Alpa Chino: Fuck it. We'll fix him later.

Evan: Costco is for members only.

Bob: What the fuck is he doing here?
Evan: It's ok he saved us.
Franklin: Ya he came in here jackin' dicks left and right.

Bob: When are you gonna take the plunge and knock a few out?
Evan: Well, it's not that simple.
Bob: Well, it's about as simple as putting your dick in a vagina. You know what I mean? Make it happen.

Jamie: I really loved your film. That scene with the dogs around the garbage. How did you stage that?
Josh: I said 'Hey, shoot those dogs'.

Josh: I've learned along the way you can discover more by allowing yourself to be surprised by what you encounter.

Cornelia: I wish you'd look at me the way you look at Jamie and Darby. When we first met, you wooed me with romantic e-mails.
Josh: It wouldn't make sense for me to send you e-mails now that we're in the same room all the time.

Josh: Let's have kids.
Cornelia: I don't want this to be 'Every time you take a hallucinogen you want to have a baby'.
Josh: Not every time.

Dr. Nagato: You have arthritis in your knee.
Josh: Arthritis arthritis?
Dr. Nagato: Yes. I usually just say it once.

Josh: I like our life as it is.
Cornelia: Yeah. I mean if we wanted to take off to Paris tomorrow we could.
Josh: If we're gonna do it, we should plan it with at least a month in advance.
Cornelia: A month is still in the realm of spontaneity.

Cornelia: My dad likes saying, "The more, the more."
Josh: That's because your dad has everything and then he gets more.

Leslie Breitbart: How's my daughter?
Josh: How's she seem to you?
Leslie Breitbart: Seems well.
Josh: So why are you asking me?

Steve Arlo: I don't think he's ever kissed a girl. He's like 30-something years old.

Gregory Stark: Is this your kid?
Steve Arlo: Nope. Just a rental.

Steve Arlo: He can elicit a confession from a criminal without their realizing they're being questioned.
Gregory Stark: How does he do it?
Steve Arlo: He has a deeply nuanced and thoroughly functional understanding of human behavior to rival the great psychoanalytical minds of our time. He understands the criminal mind as well as the innocent mind, the stable mind as well as the psychotic, sociopathic mind. The male, as well as the female.

Steve Arlo: He can tell you where you were born, how old your mother was at the time, and what you had for breakfast, all within 30 seconds of meeting you.

Steve Arlo: Why are we talking on the phone?
Daryl Zero: I told you. We can't be too careful. Two guys in an airport... talking? It's a little fishy.

Steve Arlo: There aren't any good guys. You realise that, don't you? I mean: there aren't evil guys, and innocent guys. It's just - it's just... It's just a bunch of guys.

Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.