Dina Byrnes: Now Greg, you have a very unique last name. Um, we were curious, how do you pronounce it?
Greg Focker: Oh, just like it's spelled. F-O-C-K-E-R.
Dina Byrnes: F-Focker.
Jack Byrnes: Hmm, Focker. Hmm.
Pam Byrnes: Greg honey, how are you doing?
Greg Focker: Oh great, considering I desecrated your Grandma's remains, found out you were engaged, and had your father ask me to milk him.
Jack Byrnes: Greg's in medicine too.
Bob Banks: What field?
Greg Focker: Nursing.
Bob Banks: Ha ha ha ha. No, really, what field are you in?
Greg Focker: Nursing.
Greg Focker: Don't worry about your little covert op, I'll keep it on the low down.
Denny Byrnes: Down low.
Greg Focker: No doubt.
Jack Byrnes: I mean, can you ever really trust another human being, Greg?
Greg Focker: Sure, I think so.
Jack Byrnes: No. The answer is you cannot.
Greg Focker: O dear God, thank you. You are such a good God to us. A kind and gentle and accommodating God. And we thank You O sweet, sweet Lord of hosts for the smörgåsbord You have so aptly lain at our table this day, and each day... by day. Day by day... by day. O dear Lord, three things we pray: To love Thee more dearly, to see Thee more, to follow Thee more nearly day by day... by day. Amen.
Jack Byrnes: Greg's a male nurse.
Greg Focker: Yes. Thank you, Jack.
Kevin: Wow, that's great. I'd love to find time to do some volunteer work. Just the other day I saw a golden retriever, he had like a gimp, ya know I just wish I could have done something.
Greg Focker: Yeah, well I get paid too so it's sort of an everyone wins thing.
Kevin: There he is. Okay, G-Man, we've got swordfish and we've got salmon, what'll it be?
Greg Focker: How 'bout a little of both, K-Dog, I'm pretty hungry.
Jack Byrnes: I think they call that the 'munchies'.
Greg Focker: Oh, oh check my pulse on this one, Jack. Do I think you're a psycho? Yes.
Larry Daley: This is the Smithsonian! This is the big leagues!
Larry Daley: I'm sorry. Last time I checked, I thought we lived in a free country. So...
Smithsonian Security Guard: No, we don't.
Larry Daley: No?
Smithsonian Security Guard: It's the United States of "Don't Touch That Thing Right in Front of You."
Sir Lancelot: You always put the monkey in charge?
Larry Daley: Oh, he's not in charge, we're just following him.
Sir Lancelot: That's what being in charge means.
Walter Mitty: To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.
Trawler Captain: You have at least a minute before you freeze.
Walter Mitty: What?
Trawler Captain: You are safe.
Ted: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.
Tugg Speedman: There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt...ret***ed. Like, really ret***ed.
Kirk Lazarus: Moronical?
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: An imbicile?
Tugg Speedman: Yeah!
Kirk Lazarus: Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived?
Tugg Speedman: ...when I was playing the character.
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