Quotes from Alicia Silverstone movies and TV shows

Mrs. Towner: When did y'all get to be so integrated around here?
Lynn: This morning.

Eve: Whenever Adam gives me, such obviously incorrect information. I just smile, slap him on the knee and look out the window. Why spoil his dreams? They're such wonderful dreams.

Eve: Here ya go, one champagne cocktail.
Adam: Oh, thank you.
Eve: I thought only hookers drank those things?
Adam: Well, I know Mom sure likes 'em.

Eve: So for four thousand dollars, all I have to do is drive you to your hotel?
Adam: Uh-huh.
Eve: That's it?
Adam: Yes.
Eve: And I don't have to take a physical in your spaceship?

Troy: Eve, a man walks into your life, who's the kindest, most polite, most incredibly rich guy you've ever met.
Eve: And I have him committed.
Troy: Yes. Yes you did.
Eve: Well, at least I fell for him before I knew he was rich. That's new.

Adam: What do mean you can get me laid?
Eve: Uh, can we talk about that a little later?
Adam: Of course.
Eve: Great.

Eve: Have you ever had sex before?
Adam: No.
Eve: How is that possible?

Cher: Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.

Mel: Do you know what time it is?
Cher: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy.

Cher: Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I'm his daughter.

Cher: You can't be the absolute and final word on drivers' licenses?
DMV Tester: Girlie, as far as you're concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV.

Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.

Dionne: Hello? There was a stop sign.
Cher: I totally paused.

Cher: Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.

Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."
Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.

Cher: Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensembly challenged"?

Cher: It's like that book I read in the 9th grade that said "'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people."

Cher: Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.

Cher: Been shopping with Dr. Suess?
Dionne: Well at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my back pack.
Cher: It's faux.

Cher: Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.