Quotes from Alicia Silverstone movies and TV shows

Mrs. Towner: When did y'all get to be so integrated around here?
Lynn: This morning.

Eve: Here ya go, one champagne cocktail.
Adam: Oh, thank you.
Eve: I thought only hookers drank those things?
Adam: Well, I know Mom sure likes 'em.

Eve: Whenever Adam gives me, such obviously incorrect information. I just smile, slap him on the knee and look out the window. Why spoil his dreams? They're such wonderful dreams.

Adam: What do mean you can get me laid?
Eve: Uh, can we talk about that a little later?
Adam: Of course.
Eve: Great.

Troy: Eve, a man walks into your life, who's the kindest, most polite, most incredibly rich guy you've ever met.
Eve: And I have him committed.
Troy: Yes. Yes you did.
Eve: Well, at least I fell for him before I knew he was rich. That's new.

Eve: Have you ever had sex before?
Adam: No.
Eve: How is that possible?

Eve: So for four thousand dollars, all I have to do is drive you to your hotel?
Adam: Uh-huh.
Eve: That's it?
Adam: Yes.
Eve: And I don't have to take a physical in your spaceship?

Cher: Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I'm his daughter.

Dionne: Hello? There was a stop sign.
Cher: I totally paused.

Mel: Do you know what time it is?
Cher: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy.

Cher: Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.

Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.

Cher: Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.

Cher: You can't be the absolute and final word on drivers' licenses?
DMV Tester: Girlie, as far as you're concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV.

Cher: Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.

Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion, you proud?
Mel: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.

Cher: I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh.

Josh: Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.
Cher: I am. You try driving in platforms.

Cher: Christian said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.

Josh: Hey, just because my mother marries someone else, doesn't mean he's my father.
Cher: Actually, Kato, that's exactly what it means.