Bishop73

Chandler Jarrell: That is a cool trick. Did you ever think about going into show business? Because you could...I could be your partner, I could throw a rock at you, you make it float off, hit the wall. Standing ovations all over the place. You ever hear of Ed McMahon's "Star Search"? Do they have "Star Search" in Tibet? Probably not. They probably have "Food Search." But you know what we could do? We could all go on "Star Search", right? And we give the audience rocks and let them throw them at you and then you can move your hand, make them all hit Ed McMahon...hard!

Bishop73

Chandler Jarrell: Hey, wait a second. You took a hundred. You took the hundred. No, that, no see, one dollar. See, one dollar is for you. See this George Washington? That's Benjamin Franklin. That's not happening. You got the wrong money.
The Old Man: Ahh...ahh...
Chandler: Can I have my money back? You gave me the wrong necklace too.
The Old Man: You're breaking my heart, asswipe.
Chandler: Oh, you speak English just fine.
The Old Man: So do you. So what of it?
Chandler: Hey, listen man. Give my hundred back, take this dollar and take this, and give me the right one.
The Old Man: Monkey breath, puke face, eater of turtle slime.

Bishop73

Chandler Jarrell: Hey, bird! Did you just see a little Hare Krishna midget in the tree floating...or it me? [Telephone rings.] Must be Rod Sterling.

Bishop73

Kee Nang: A child has been kidnapped.
Chandler Jarrell: When?
Kee Nang: Five days ago in Northeastern Tibet.
Chandler: [Laughing] Tibet's a little out of my territory.
Kee Nang: This child is special. His destiny is to save the world.
Chandler: That's a good destiny.

Bishop73