Phaneron

The Dealership - S9-E11

Elaine: You're a salesman now. The high-five is, it's very grease-monkey.
Puddy: What did I tell you about that?
Elaine: I'm sorry, but the high-five is just so stupid.
Puddy: Oh yeah? I'll tell you what's stupid: you, stupid.
Elaine: Oh that is really mature.
Puddy: Yeah? So are you. You're the grease-monkey.
Elaine: That doesn't make any sense.

Phaneron ★

The Dealership - S9-E11

George: I'd like to report a problem with one of your mechanics.
Dealership Manager: When did you bring your car in?
George: Yeah right, I'm gonna get my car repaired at a dealership. Why don't I just flush my money down the toilet?
Dealership Manager: Sir, what exactly is the problem?
George: One of your guys, Kip or Ned, short name, stole my Twix candy bar.
Dealership Manager: Are you saying he grabbed your candy bar away from you?
George: He might as well have. I caught him, and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs.
Dealership Manager: I thought you said it was a Twix.
George: Oh it was, but he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar.
Dealership Manager: Maybe it was.
George: Oh no, Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch.
Dealership Manager: What about the Hundred Thousand Dollar bar?
George: Nope, rice and caramel.
Dealership Manager: Nougat?
George: No.
Dealership Manager: Positive?
George: Please.
Employee: You know they changed the name from Hundred Thousand Dollar bar to 100 Grand?
George: All I want is my 75 cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired.
Dealership Manager's Father: I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel.
Male Customer: What's the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial?
George: They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial.
Dealership Manager's Father: Not Skittles.
Dealership Manager: Dad, I told you you could sit here only if you don't talk.
Female Customer: You make your father sit here all day?
Dealership Manager: He likes it.
George: Alright, do you mind? I have the window. Now what are you gonna do about my Twix?
Male Customer: Twix has too much coconut.
George: No, there's no coconut!
Employee: I'm allergic to coconut.
Dealership Manager: I'm not.
Dealership Manager's Father: A nickel.

Phaneron ★

The Dealership - S9-E11

George: Excuse me. I believe you just ate my Twix bar. It was dangling, and when you purchased your Twix bar, you got a little freebie. And you never bothered to ask why, or seek out its rightful owner.
Mechanic: First of all, it wasn't a Twix. It was a 5th Avenue bar.
George: You must think I'm pretty stupid. That was no 5th Avenue bar. I can see the crumb right there in the corner of your lip. Now that is a cookie, and we all know that Twix is the only candy bar with the cookie crunch.
Mechanic: It's a little nougat.
George: Nougat? Please. I think I've reached a point in my life where I can tell the difference between nougat and cookie. So let's not just say things that we both know are obvious fabrications.

Phaneron ★

The Strongbox - S9-E14

George: [Inner monologue] I think that ginger ale at the coffee shop is just Coke and Sprite mixed together. How can I prove it? Dah, can't. Damnit.

Phaneron ★