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Cliff Booth: Eh... You are?
Tex: I'm the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work.
Cliff: Nah... It was dumber than that, something like Rex.
Katie: Shoot him, Tex!
Cliff Booth: Tex!

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Glengarry, Glen Rosey - S5-E23

Dan: We're screwed.
Roseanne: No, Dan. We're so beyond screwed, that the light from screwed will take one billion years to reach the Earth.

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Past Imperfect - S6-E20

Fred: How many men did you date before we met?
Jackie: Well, you mean dated at all or dated seriously?
Fred: I mean seriously.
Jackie: Well, I'd have to say just a few.
Fred: Good. It's not that I'd mind if you slept with a lot of guys.
Jackie: Well, slept with. That's not what you asked me.

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Dear Mom and Dad - S1-E22

Roseanne: If my parents move to Lanford, I'm gonna be sleeping on a cot for the rest of my life because I'm gonna be in prison for blowing them away.
Dan: Honey, Honey, be realistic. You don't know how to use a gun. I'll do it.

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Dear Mom and Dad - S1-E22

Jackie: [Angry] I've been a member of this family longer than you have!
Dan: [Laughing derisively] Now that's something to be proud of!

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Four Minutes - S5-E9

Mike: I can feel your eyes burning a hole in my head.
Susie: You're lucky I'm not staring at your balls.

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Lenny: 'You' are more important than God.
Midge: You paid attention.

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How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall? - S4-E8

Lenny Bruce: Believe me, honey, if there is a Hell, then I'm the headliner.

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The Assassin: [warning Robert Langdon] Be careful. These are men of God.

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How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall? - S4-E8

Lenny: What are you wearing?
Midge: I'm wearing my show corset.
Lenny: You have a show corset?
Midge: Yes.
Lenny: How is this different from, say, your dentist corset?
Midge: It's much more likely to suffocate me. It's also prettier.
Lenny: Yep. It's always the pretty ones who try to kill you.

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Maddie: [to Ned Racine] You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.

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Buelah Gasnick: I experienced the 60s.
Annie Kinsella: No, I think you experienced two 50s and moved right on to the 70s.

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Look, She Made a Hat - S2-E7

Archie [after Joel's celebratory speech to his staff]: Such a strange mixture of happiness and horror.
Mrs. Moscowitz: Oh, clearly you're not Jewish, dear.

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