Cheryl: I understand you're able to have an erection.
Mark O'Brien: Not by choice.
Clerk: Now, come on, what kind of therapist is she?
Vera: I told you, she's a sex therapist. Today they're working on "simultaneous orgasm."
Clerk: What's that?
Cheryl: You're a fully-fledged male Homo sapien endowed with a handsome and substantial penis, which now has a proven track record.
Mark O'Brien: I believe in a God with a sense of humor. I would find it absolutely intolerable not to be to able blame someone for all this.
Mark O'Brien: My penis talks to me, Father Brendan.
Cheryl: I'm going to rub the tip of your penis around my vulva. And when it's ready, I'll guide you in. Breathe slowly and think of something delicious.
Cheryl: Now I'm converting to Judaism.
Mark O'Brien: Well, it's good to have some kind of insurance.
Mark O'Brien: Why go to Germany? It's the only place in the world where humor is forbidden.
