Joyce Brewster: You want me to go to one of Gayle's miserable singles event? That's what you want? You want me whoring myself out? Put on a thong?
Andrew Brewster: I'm going to sleep now, Ma.
Joyce Brewster: Promise me you'll never pick up a hitchhiker, okay?
Andrew Brewster: I promise I will never pick up a hitchhiker.
Joyce Brewster: Good. They rape.
Joyce Brewster: I want the salad dressing on the side... it's a weight watchers thing.
Joyce Brewster: Ou know, I spent almost 30 years of my life thinking I didn't matter to someone who mattered a great deal to me. I got the answer I needed. I did. It's like Anita always says.
Andrew Brewster: Oh, God.
Joyce Brewster: When it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
Andrew Brewster: That's actually good advice.
Joyce Brewster: I wasn't meant to be with Andy Margolis. You see? I was meant to meet him, but I was meant to marry your father. Because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have had you. Don't you see, Andy? It was always you. You're the love of my life, baby. It will always be you.
