Agent Barker: Black belt, third degree.
Miss Piggy: Platinum belt, with an unlimited line of credit.
Ed Singer: I'm afraid we're going to have to perform an invasive quadrilobal brain probe on you and pluck it from your head.
Gonzo: The information?
Ed Singer: No, your brain.
Miss Piggy: We're going to pause here and we'll be right back with Gonzo, the Geek Who Fell to Earth.
Kermit: Okay, guys. It's up to us. We have to save Gonzo from a whole army of government agents.
Fozzie: Well, I have a joke book.
Animal: Drumsticks, drumsticks.
Pepe: I have some loose jello, okay.
Kermit: Okay. Well that settles that.
Miss Piggy: Oh! A real story. Intrigue! Danger! New outfits! And it's mine, mine, mine, all mine, a ha ha ha ha... (to camera) Oh, come on, please, you think Ted Koppel never gets excited?
Pepe: De prawn cracker wins.
Ed Singer: Excuse me. Can this thing go any faster?
Rentro: I'm doing thirty..
Rizzo: How you doin', Ed?
Fast Eddie: Well, I ain't dead.
Gonzo: Rizzo, come here, my Cap'n Alphabet is sending me a message: R U There.
Rizzo: Are you sure it didn't say "you need help"?
Miss Piggy: Midnight. The lone alien stands before a naked sky. The mood is tense. My hair looks great..
General Luft: You're terminated.
Ed Singer: Uhh, when you say 'terminated'.
General Luft: You need help, Singer! Find some.
Kermit: He's one of us. And no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles we face, we never forget one of our own.
Miss Piggy: I love it when you take charge.
Fozzie Bear: Hey! We left Bunsen and Beaker back at the gas station.
Kermit: Okay... Well, uh, from this point on, no matter what happens, we never forget one of our own.
Gonzo: Kermit, you're the best friend any alien could ask for.
Agent Barker: We feel your pain, Gonzo.
Gonzo: They feel my pain.
Rizzo: I've got a paper-cut that's a doozy. You feel my pain, too?