Kermit: What is he doing up there?
Rizzo: His breakfast cereal told him to sit up there.
Clifford: Talk about whole grain and nuts.
Rizzo: How you doin', Ed?
Fast Eddie: Well, I ain't dead.
Cosmic Fish #1: We are not the same as you.
Cosmic Fish #2: We are highly evolved beings. Now... uh, what was I saying?
Gonzo: Kermit, you're the best friend any alien could ask for.
Pepe: You tell him, and I will smack you. I will smack you like a bad, bad donkey, okay.
Dr. Phil Van Neuter: Remember, if you experience any unpleasantness, please let me know. I would hate to miss it.
Miss Piggy: Hello! What's a nice man like you doing in a guardhouse like this?
Ed Singer: I'm afraid we're going to have to perform an invasive quadrilobal brain probe on you and pluck it from your head.
Gonzo: The information?
Ed Singer: No, your brain.
Kermit: Okay, guys. It's up to us. We have to save Gonzo from a whole army of government agents.
Fozzie: Well, I have a joke book.
Animal: Drumsticks, drumsticks.
Pepe: I have some loose jello, okay.
Kermit: Okay. Well that settles that.
Miss Piggy: Oh! A real story. Intrigue! Danger! New outfits! And it's mine, mine, mine, all mine, a ha ha ha ha... (to camera) Oh, come on, please, you think Ted Koppel never gets excited?
Gonzo: Rizzo, come here, my Cap'n Alphabet is sending me a message: R U There.
Rizzo: Are you sure it didn't say "you need help"?
General Luft: You're terminated.
Ed Singer: Uhh, when you say 'terminated'.
General Luft: You need help, Singer! Find some.
Clifford: Nah, Baby! Me and Gonzo are very tight. In fact, we're gonna be chillin' in our hot tub later on. Perhaps you'd like to partake in the partay?
Agent Barker: How about this story? It's about a big, bad wolf and a little pig.
Miss Piggy: Um, that's three pigs, okay?
Agent Barker: Not in this version.
TV Producer: Gonzo, you've got it.
Rizzo: Sure wish we could find a cure for it.
Rentro: While they're warming up the brain-sucker for ya in surgery, I brought you a sandwich here, and I cut off the crusts for you.
Ed Singer: Forgive me my Earthly manners, but, uh, do you have any idea what it's like to be laughed at?
Gonzo: Yeah, sure I do.
Ed Singer: To be called names, like 'wacko.'.
Gonzo: Uh-huh.
Ed Singer: And 'freak-boy.'.
Gonzo: Oh, yeah.
Ed Singer: And 'paranoid delusional psychopath'?
Gonzo: Got me there.
Pepe: De prawn cracker wins.
