John Oldman: Believe in what He tried to teach without the rigmarole. Piety is not what the lessons bring to people, it's the mistakes they bring to the lessons.
Harry: Edith, I was raised on the Torah, my wife on the Qu'Ran, my eldest son is an Atheist, my youngest is a scientologist, my daughter is studying Hinduism, I imagine there is room there for a holy war in my living room, but we practice live and let live.
John Oldman: Piety is not what the lessons bring to people, it's the mistake they bring to the lessons.
Harry: I can give you the ten commandments in ten words: "Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't."
John Oldman: What if a man from the Upper Paleolithic had survived until the present day?
John Oldman: Every 10 years or so, when people start to notice I don't age, I move on.
Dr. Will Gruber: If I shot you John, you're immortal? Would you survive this?
John Oldman: I never said I was immortal, just old. I might die. And then you could wonder the rest of your incarcerated life what you shot.
Edith: You think that's all religion is about... selling hope and survival?
Edith: My God, what is this? It looks like a genuine Van Gogh, but I've never seen it before.
Dan: Is that an original, John?
John Oldman: No, it's just a gift someone gave me.
Edith: Still, it's a superb copy. Contemporaneous I think, may I take a closer look?
John Oldman: Please, yeah.
Edith: Yes, it's the same stretcher Van Gogh used.
Dan: Hey, there's writing on the back. It's in French.
Edith: To my friend Jacques Bon. Wonder who that was?
John Oldman: Someone he knew, I guess.
Dan: The objective measure of a clock, is another clock.
Dr. Will Gruber: I still don't believe you, you know. You need help.
John Oldman: Everybody needs help.
Dr. Will Gruber: Yes, well. Some more than others.
Edith: Are you sorry for some of those things you said?
John Oldman: I'm sorry I said them.
Dr. Will Gruber: History hates a vacuum. Improvisation, some of it very sincere, fills the gaps. It would have been easy to falsify a past back then. A few words, credulity time would do the rest.
Dan: There's absolutely no way in the whole world for John to prove his story. Just like there's no way for us to disprove it. No matter how outrageous we think it is, no matter how highly trained some of us think we are, there's absolutely no way to disprove it! My friend is either a caveman, a liar, or a nut. So while we're thinking about that, why don't we just go with it.
John Oldman: Why not pass the Buddha's teachings on in a modern form.
