Mr. Alonzo Smith: Either I've lost some soup, or I've found a spoon.
John Truett: Gosh, Miss Esther, I hope I'm not too presumptuous, but you don't need any beauty sleep.
Esther Smith: What a nice compliment.
'Tootie' Smith: Hello, Papa, I buried Maude Rockefeller today, and you missed all the fun.
Mr. Alonzo Smith: Oh, I wouldn't say that. I've had a pretty full day. Tootie, remind me to spank you right after dinner.
'Tootie' Smith: Yes, Papa.
Mr. Alonzo Smith: Lord, we thank thee for the bountiful blessing we are about to receive. Amen.
'Tootie' Smith: Agnes, if I forget to remind Papa, you remind me.
Agnes Smith: All right.
Grandpa: Pardon me, young man, but in the great country of China, when a stranger admires one of your possessions, it's common courtesy to offer it to him.
Kid at the ball: That's very interesting.
Grandpa: Yes. Well I spent many years in China, and if you want to make me feel thoroughly at home, you might offer me your partner.
Kid at the ball: Huh?
Grandpa: Spoken like a true gentleman.
Esther Smith: It's our last dance in St. Louis. I feel like I'm going to cry.
Esther Smith: I'm going to let John Truett kiss me tonight.
Rose Smith: Esther Smith.
Esther Smith: Well, if we're going to get married, I may as well start it.
Rose Smith: Nice girls don't let men kiss them until after they're engaged. Men don't want the bloom rubbed off.
Esther Smith: Personally, I think I have too much bloom. Maybe that's the trouble with me.
'Tootie' Smith: We'll fix him fine. It'll serve him right for poisoning cats... He buys meat and then he buys poison and then he puts them all together.
Agnes Smith: And then he burns the cats at midnight in his furnace. You could smell the smoke.
'Tootie' Smith: ...and Mr. Braukoff was beating his wife with a red hot poker... and Mr. Braukoff has empty whiskey bottles in his cellar.
Mr. Alonzo Smith: Ah, corn beef and cabbage. Katie, I could smell that cabbage when I got off the trolley.
Katie the Maid: Cabbage has a cabbage smell.
Mrs. Anna Smith: Sure, don't mind what happens to your family. At a time like this you think about the chickens.
Agnes Smith: Rose, what did you get me for Christmas?
Rose Smith: You'll find out tomorrow.
Agnes Smith: I hope it's a hunting knife.
Warren Sheffield: Rose Smith, we can't go on like this any longer. I've positively decided we're going to get married at the earliest opportunity and I don't want to hear any arguments. That's final. I love you. Merry Christmas.
Rose Smith: Merry Christmas.
Mr. Alonzo Smith: Anna, who is that boy?
Mrs. Anna Smith: Now Lonny he's a very fine young man. We'll talk about it later.
Grandpa: That young man is so excited he's liable to leave on his honeymoon without Rose.
Agnes Smith: Katie, where's my cat?
Katie the Maid: I don't know... a little while ago, she got in my way and I kicked her down the cellar steps. I could hear her spine hitting on every step.
Agnes Smith: Oh, if you killed her, I'll kill you! I'll stab you to death in your sleep, then I'll tie your body to two wild horses until you're pulled apart.
Katie the Maid: Oh, won't that be terrible, now? There's your cat.
Rose Smith: Money. I hate, loathe, despise and abominate money.
Mr. Alonzo Smith: You also spend it.
Rose Smith: Agnes Smith, you're nothing less than a murderer. You could have killed dozens of people.
Agnes Smith: Oh, Rose, you're so stuck up.