Melissa Marr: Now, that's enter-fucking-tainment.
Eddie: I had nothing to do with this! I was adopted.
Eddie: Me and you all three. Woohoo, let's boogie.
Pritchett: Sorry to interrupt. Goddammit, you give me my goddamn check right now! 'Cause I want it! So you give it! Now! I'm serious.
Eddie: That was the most fun I've had all day.
Sara: You need to get out more.
Evelyn: You know if you really love me, you'll find a way to drop dead in the next three seconds.
Stephen Price: Finding ways for me to die is really your deal, isn't it Eveline? Let's not forget the OJ knife with the not-quite-retractable blade. Your Jim Jones Kool-Aid was exactly that.
Evelyn: Accidents, all accidents until proven otherwise.
Peter Graves: Dr. Richard Benjamin Vannacutt. He out-butchered Bundy, made Manson look meek.
Stephen Price: Let's go down and greet your guests. Show them the real you. Corny as Kansas on the Fourth of July.