It's a musical. Two words. First word: greeting, second word: girl's toy. Yes, it's "Hello Dolly!". Featuring Barbra Streisand, Walter Matthau and Michael Crawford, with guest star Louis Armstrong who appears for under a minute.
Mrs Dolly Levi is a poor widow who has been hired by Mr Horace Vandergelder, the well known (unmarried) half a millionaire, first citizen of Yonkers, NY and owner of Vandergelder's Hay & Feed, to find him the ideal wife. That ideal wife is her. She arrives in Yonkers to whisk Horace's vertically challenged niece off to New York and away from marriage to an impractical, seven foot tall nincompoop artist with whom she is in love (Dolly whisks them away together because she's in favour of their marriage). On the same day, Horace drives off to New York to propose to Irene Molloy, a lady milliner who hates hats, much to Dolly's dismay. His chief clerk, Cornelius, and apprentice, Barnaby, are left to look after the store. Taking advantage of Horace's overnight absence, Cornelius and Barnaby decide to go to New York as well. Overhearing their plans and wanting to prevent any engagement between Horace and Irene, Dolly suggests they pay a visit to a certain millinery shop. The result is instant attraction so Miss Molloy won't become Mrs Vandergelder any time soon. Seeing their boss and Dolly approaching the shop, Cornelius and Barnaby hide in a cupboard and under a table respectively. When Horace finds out there are two men hiding in the shop he storms out. Dolly teaches the fugitives to dance and suggests they take the ladies to the finest and most expensive restaurant in the city, the Harmonia Gardens.
Miss Vertically Challenged and the Amorous Artist have gone to dinner at the Harmonia Gardens as well, passing on the message "Dolly's coming back" to the overjoyed staff.
Dolly herself arranges a dinner for two between Horace and the wealthy heiress, Miss Ernestina Simple, who is actually an old friend and penniless actress called Gussie Granger that Dolly just happened to meet at the 14th street parade. As agreed, "Miss Simple" leaves shortly before 8, meeting Dolly outside.
After a good song and dance (literally), Horace accidentally meets his niece, the artist, clerk, apprentice, milliner and her assistant, and is knocked unconscious by an angry cream-covered fellow customer (long story...).
Once he has regained consciousness, Dolly says (well, sings if I'm honest) goodbye.
Next day, Horace wakes up and realises that his niece and staff have left. Dolly comes by to tell him she's found him the ideal wife. He tells her he doesn't want her to find him the ideal wife, if he wants an ideal wife he'll find one on his own and he has found her and it's her.
So they get married.
Thank you for your attention. I did intend to write a short summary, but as you can see it didn't work. Sorry.
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