Buckaroo Banzai: You ever thought about joining me full time?
New Jersey: Whatya mean, you serious, do you have an opening?
Buckaroo Banzai: Uh huh. Can you sing?
New Jersey: A little, yeh, I can dance.
General Catburd: The man's been through solid matter, for crying out loud. Who knows what's happened to his brain? Maybe it's scrambled his molecules. All I'm saying is, Mr. President, let's not panic.
Lord John Whorfin: Will somebody turn off that gosh darn klaxon?
Scooter Lindley: Dad. Dad. Buckaroo's in trouble.
Casper Lindley: Say what?
Lord John Whorfin: Barney, I'm going home... with my overthruster.
Buckaroo Banzai: It flies like a truck.
John Parker: Good, what is a truck?
Jon Gomez: Lest we let this place become a zoo, not to mention a haven for gawkers.
Mission Control: Buckaroo, The White House wants to know is everything ok with the alien space craft from Planet 10 or should we just go ahead and destroy Russia?
Buckaroo Banzai: Tell him yes on one and no on two.
Mission Control: Which one was yes, go ahead and destroy Russia... or number 2?
John Parker: Buckaroo Banzai.
Buckaroo Banzai: What?
John Parker: There is little time. You'd better come quickly if your planet is still important to you.
Orderly: Who are you today, Doc? Einstein?
Lord John Whorfin: Lord John Whorfin. If there's one thing I hate, it's to be mistaken for somebody else.
John Bigboote: Damn John Whorfin and the horse he rode in on.
Yoyodyne intercom announcement: The only joy is the joy of duty. Work... work... work.
Overhead announcement at psychiatric hospital: Lithium is no longer available on credit.
John Ganty: John Valuk is dead, he fell on his head. But perhaps John Parker will get through with our message to Buckaroo Banzai.
Ed: President's calling, Buckaroo.
Buckaroo Banzai: The president of what?
Ed: The President of The United States.
Buckaroo Banzai: Oh.
SOD McKinley: I'll try to be quick. In case you haven't noticed, we have a motorcycle convention moving in and let's face it, you didn't come here to listen to me talk.
Perfect Tommy: You're right.
John Bigboote: Put the snot on the track, John O'Connor.
