Terry Fields: Jesus, what a night.
Terry Fields: Pardon me, sir, but I lost my I.D. in... in a flood and I'd like to get some Old Harper, hard stuff. Would you mind buying a bottle for me?
Bum at Liquor Store: Why certainly! I lost my wife, too - her name wasn't Idy, though, and it wasn't in a flood - but I know what ya.
Terry Fields: Thanks, here's enough for a pint.
John Milner: So, your Judy's little... Shit! How old are you?
Carol: I'm old enough. How old are you?
John Milner: I'm too old for you.
Carol: You can't be that old.
Mr. Kroot: All right, all right, Bolander, break that up. You know the rules. You and your girlfriend want to do that, go someplace else, huh?
Steve Bolander: Hey, Kroot! Why don't you go kiss a duck?
Mr. Kroot: What did you say?
Steve Bolander: I said, go kiss a duck, marblehead.
Mr. Kroot: Okay, Bolander, you are suspended. Don't - don't you even come in on Monday. You're out, you're out.
Steve Bolander: Hey, hey, Kroot. I graduated last semester. Remember?
Steve Bolander: We're finally getting out of this turkey town, and now you wanna crawl back into your cell, right? You wanna end up like John? You just can't stay seventeen forever.
Debbie Dunham: Is that tuck and roll?
Terry Fields: Yeah.
Debbie Dunham: That's bitchin' tuck and roll! You know, I really love the feel of tuck and roll upholstery.
Terry Fields: You do?
Debbie Dunham: Yeah.
Terry Fields: Yeah? Well, get in and I'll let you feel it... I mean, you know, you can touch it... uh... I'll let you feel the upholstery.
Debbie Dunham: Okay.
Ants: Hey, man, who cut the cheese?
Joe: He who smelt it, dealt it.
Debbie Dunham: Maybe if it's the goat killer, he'll get somebody and we'll see the whole thing.
Terry Fields: I don't want to see the whole thing.
John Milner: Shit! Hey, get down.
Carol: Hey, is this what they call "copping a feel"?
John Milner: What? No, get up, N-O. Sheezus.
Carol: What's your name?
John Milner: My name? Mud, if anybody sees you.
John Milner: Paradise Road.
Curt Henderson: You're the most beautiful, exciting thing I've ever seen in my life and I don't know anything about you.
Carol: Oh, no, not me. Not old Carol. The night is young and I'm not hittin' the rack till I get a little action.