Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: The only time we doctors should accept death is when it's caused by our own incompetence.
Dr. Necessiter: Nonsense. If the murder of twelve innocent people can help save one human life, it will have been worth it.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Damn your drunk tests are hard.
Butler: You and your wife are expected for dinner.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: My wife won't be coming.
Butler: Oh, I trust she is not ill?
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: She's not ill, she's a cheap, vulgar slut.
Butler: Ja, I have heard this.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: I can't.
Fran: Can't what?
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: I can't inject you with window cleaner.
Fran: I don't mind. Hey, what does it do anyway?
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: It causes your brain to die last.
Fran: I don't mind.
Dr. Necessiter's butler: Can I get you anything more, doctor? I'm about to retire.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Really? You seem so young.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Would you read that back to me? I'm afraid that might make me sound pompous to your readers.
Olsen: 'My brilliant research in brain transplantation is unsurpassed, and will probably make my name live beyond eternity'.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Well, that's all right. Take out the 'probably'. It makes me sound wishy-washy.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Into the mud, scum queen.
Little Girl: Sounds like a subdural hematoma to me.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Oh, it does, does it? Well, it's not your job to diagnose.
Little Girl: But I thought.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: You thought, you thought. Just go. Three years of nursery school and you think you know it all. Well, you're still wet behind the ears. It's not a subdural hematoma. It's epidural. Ha.
Dolores: The Complete Poems of John Lillison, England's greatest one-armed poet.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: He wrote 'In Dillman's Grove' and 'Pointy Birds.' O pointy birds, o pointy pointy, anoint my head, anointy-nointy.
Gladstone: I wanted to inform the Doctor of her passing.
Dolores Benedict: Passing what?
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: You. You're the elevator killer. Merv Griffin.
Merv Griffin: Yeah.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Why?
Merv Griffin: I don't know. I've always just loved to kill. I really enjoyed it. But then I got famous, and - it's just too hard for me. And so many witnesses. I mean, everybody recognized me. I couldn't even lurk anymore. I'd hear, "Who's that lurking over there? Isn't that Merv Griffin?" So I came to Europe to kill. And it's really worked out very well for me.
