The Girl Next Door (2004)

Ferrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity?
April: When I was ten.
Ferrari: Okay, moving on.

Danielle: Ooh, boxers.
Matthew: I always wear boxers. You just caught me on a weird day.

Kelly: Those crazy little fuckers man, they sure know their numbers.

Ferrari: Your name is Klitz?
Klitz: With a K.

Mrs. Kidman: Do these girls go to your high school?
Eli: No, Mrs Kidman. They're porn stars.

Eli: Learn to like it.

Kelly: Hey, you guys know Matty? I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits.

Mrs. Kidman: Eli, do those girls go to your school?
Eli: Actually, no, Mrs. Kidman, they're porn stars.

Matthew: Hey, there's the big daddy.
Dr. Salinger: Matthew, what has been going on?
Matthew: Some serious shit.

Kelly: Friends don't fuck with each other's business.

Eli: I could make a better sex-ed film with my mom.

Matthew: I'm in so much trouble.

Eli: Okay, you know what the three of us are? We're a tripod.
Klitz: A tripod?
Eli: Yes, a tripod. Which means that if you knock out one of our legs, WE-ALL-FALL.

Kelly: Ok people, let's make some fuckie Fuckie.

Eli: Dude.
Matthew: I know.
Klitz: Dude.
Matthew: I know.

Karate Guy in Porn Film: Oooh, excellent, grasshopper. And now, for the final task of your training.
Danielle: You're gonna need a harder piece of wood that that, cowboy.
Matthew: That's not her.
Eli: Yeah, it is.
Matthew: Oh, no.

Kelly: Stay in school.

Kelly: Ah, it's cool. I like runnin' errands.

Danielle: So what's the craziest thing you've done lately?
Matthew: Oh I mean, it's hard to tell, you know. I've just done so much nuts stuff.
Danielle: You haven't done anything, have you?

Matthew: I just wanna let you know, I know who you really are, and you're better than this.