Candy Striper: Hello Miss Sad Pants, and her friend, Serious Sally! How about a nice cool mint to help turn those frowns upside down?
Loretta: Do you think a nice cool mint would help if I shoved your head up your ass?
Amber Atkins: Yah, my ma's clothes all melted onto mine forming, like, this big polyester meteor in our closet, y'know? But, in some kinda weird miracle, our neighbor boy, Kenny Hanson, found my tap costume on the roof o' their trailer while he was settin' coon traps for his dad. Here's the weird part: it was still on the hanger.
Annette Atkins: I am reaching the point where I would kill someone for the nicotine under their fingernails.
Loretta: Why do I think Becky'll win? You're talking about the richest family in a small town. It's front page news when one of them takes a shit.
Trivia: A joke that most don't catch right away: When they're in the hospital after the explosion and the doctor's unwrapping Annette's hand and we see the beer can is still stuck to it. They only make a brief mention to this but never explain that the heat from the explosion made Annette's Lee press-on nails (which are plastic) melt around the beer can making it impossible to get the can off without amputation.
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