Dora Charleston: Mr. Diamond, there's a bullet hole in your jacket.
Sam Diamond: You should see the other guy.
Dick Charleston: Now let's see what we have here. We have one missing, dead, naked butler, one host with a butcher's knife in his back, and one poisonous scorpion crawling up our sheets.
Dora Charleston: Is that what that is?
Dick Charleston: Yes. They can kill instantly. I suggest we don't move.
Dora Charleston: For how long?
Dick Charleston: Quite possibly for the rest of our lives.
Sam Diamond: You say you know who's going to get it?
Lionel Twain: Intimately.
Inspector Milo Perrier: And you know how the crime is to be committed?
Lionel Twain: Definitely.
Sidney Wang: And exactly what time murder to take place?
Lionel Twain: The murder. Precisely.
Dora Charleston: Well, I know it's none of my business, but doesn't that mean that you're the murderer, Mr. Twain?
Sidney Wang: Quickly. Go back in kitchen, get dining room key from pocket of dead butler.
Milo Perrier: You don't have to say "dead butler." It's bad enough I have to put my hand in his pocket.
Lionel Twain: You've tricked and fooled your readers for years. You've tortured us all with surprise endings that made no sense. You've introduced characters in the last five pages that were never in the book before. You've withheld clues and information that made it impossible for us to guess who did it. But now, the tables are turned. Millions of angry mystery readers are now getting their revenge. When the world learns I've outsmarted you, they'll be selling your $1.95 books for twelve cents.