Fletch
Movie Quote Quiz

Pathologist: Ever seen a spleen that large?
Fletch: No, not since breakfast.

Fletch: You know, what tipped it for me was something your wife said while we were in bed together.
Alan Stanwyk: Oh? And what was that?
Fletch: Curiously, she said we had roughly the same build. From the waist up, I imagine.

Fletch: Frank, I need to go to Utah.
Frank Walker: Utah?
Fletch: Yeah, Utah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. You've seen pictures of it, right?

Gail Stanwyk: I really should change.
Fletch: No! I think you should stay the same wonderful person you are today.
Gail Stanwyk: I mean, put clothes on.

Stanton Boyd: What kind of a name is Poon?
Fletch: Comanche Indian.

Waiter: Excuse me, Señor. You are a member of the club?
Fletch: No, I'm not, I'm with the Underhills.
Waiter: They already left, Señor.
Fletch: It's all right, they'll be back. He went out for his urinalysis.
Waiter: Would you like some drinks, Señor, while you wait? I will put it on the Underhills' bill.
Fletch: Yes, very good. I'll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich, please.

Desk Sergeant: You better take his picture while he still has a face.

Fletch: For an extra grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner.

Fletch: Oh, you've remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds.

Fletch: Why don't we go lay on the bed and I'll fill you in?

Gail Stanwyk: I'm very flattered, but I'm also very married. You are trying to hit on me, aren't you?
Fletch: How did you guess? I'm such a heel. I don't know what came over me.
Gail Stanwyk: If I had a nickel for every one of Alan's flyboy buddies who tried to pick me up, I'd be a rich woman.
Fletch: You are a rich woman.
Gail Stanwyk: See what I mean?

Alan Stanwyk: If you reject the proposition, you keep the thousand - and your mouth shut.
Fletch: Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?
Alan Stanwyk: It's nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you.
Fletch: Yeah, I assure you.
Alan Stanwyk: One thousand just to listen? I don't see how you can pass that up, Mr...?
Fletch: Nugent. Ted Nugent.

Gail Stanwyk: Are you always this forward?
Fletch: Only with wet, married women.

Fletch: If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.

Gail Stanwyk: I didn't know you knew the Underhills.
Fletch: Yeah, well, I saved his life during the war.
Gail Stanwyk: You were in the war?
Fletch: No, he was. I got him out.

Fletch: Provo, Spain?
Pan Am Clerk: Utah.

Fletch: Hey! I think our problems may just be solved. Ed McMahon. Think I just won a million bucks. Yeah, Irwin M. Fletcher you choose. Woo-wee! Oh, boy, I lost. Yeah. Sorry.

Dr. Joseph Dolan: You know, it's a shame about Ed.
Fletch: Oh, it was. Yeah, it was really a shame. To go so suddenly like that.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was dying for years.
Fletch: Sure, but... the end was very... very sudden.
Dr. Joseph Dolan: He was in intensive care for eight weeks.
Fletch: Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden.

Alan Stanwyk: You'll be wearing rubber gloves. Do you own rubber gloves?
Fletch: I rent 'em. I have a lease with an option to buy.

Fletch: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.

Continuity mistake: When Fletch and Stanwyk first meet and Stanwyk asks Fletch to come to his home and hear his proposal, Stanwyk is wearing a suit/tie on top but is wearing jeans on the bottom. In the next wide shot as they leave the beach, and again in the next scene as they arrive at Stanwyk's house, he is wearing suit pants. (00:04:50)

Upvote valid corrections to help move entries into the corrections section.

Suggested correction: Stanwyck is never wearing jeans in any of the scenes, he's always wearing matching suit pants.

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Trivia: Alan Stanwyck's mansion is the same house used in the 1972 movie "The Godfather", when Jack Woltz finds the horse head in his bed.

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