Brain Donors
Movie Quote Quiz

Volare: I told you before... Don't hang my tights by the crotch! it throws off my bulge.

Jacques: Are you Roland T. Flakfizer?
Flakfizer: That all depends. Do I owe you money?
Jacques: No.
Flakfizer: In a drunken stupor, did I promise to marry you?
Jacques: No.
Flakfizer: Then I'm your man.

Roland T. Flakfizer: So, do you enjoy being a cab driver?
Rocco Melonchek: Nah. As soon as I get my driver's license, I'm quitting.

Roland T. Flakfizer: Please, call me what everyone else calls me: "Your Royal Sex Machine."

Volare: Do you realise what I was doing at the age of seven?
Roland T. Flakfizer: I can imagine and you must be thankful you didn't go blind.
Volare: I was dancing professionally.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Whatever you call it. Flogging the carrot, polishing the cuestick, choking the chicken, clearing the snorkel.

Roland T. Flakfizer: And that spells cash with a capital.
Jacques: K.
Roland T. Flakfizer: You should go back to school.
Jacques: I hated teaching.

Roland T. Flakfizer: Dear Lillian, soon I hope to take you on a Carribbean cruise, where we can hold hands on a soft summer's evening and watch that old Jamaican moon. Why that old Jamaican will be mooning us, I have no idea.

Usherette: Five and six.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Eleven. Now it's your turn: twenty-five and sixty-seven.

Roland T. Flakfizer: I didn't know the meaning of the word "no," but he had it down pretty good.

Rocco Melonchek: We'll have to perform a full rectum-ology.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Fondue, an epidemic! drop those pants... Not you, the patient.
Doctor: I thought you were cardiologists.
Rocco Melonchek: Uh, well, they're all connected, we enter the rectum and head north.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Why do you think we have such long instruments?

Roland T. Flakfizer: And she looks like she's about fifteen.
Lazlo: No, no, no.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Okay, fourteen then. In fact I know she's fourteen, because I was dating her a year ago.

Jacques: Society's to blame.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Too much violence in the movies.
Rocco Melonchek: It's my environment.
Jacques: We were carrying out orders.
Roland T. Flakfizer: It's the Japanese. They're buying up everything.
Rocco Melonchek: Did we leave anything out?

Roland T. Flakfizer: Sorry, two's company, and three's an adult movie.

Roland T. Flakfizer: Miss, these seats are dreadful. They're facing the stage.

Flakfizer: Let's step outside and settle this like men.
Lazlo: We are outside.
Flakfizer: OK, let's step inside and settle it like women.

Tina: Was that the doorbell?
Roland T. Flakfizer: That wasn't you?

Roland T. Flakfizer: I'm all out of American currency. Here, take a fistful of Romanian fifties.

Rocco: Charity work. I gather these for those less fortunate than myself who can't afford pornography.

Rocco Melonchek: You're lying.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Of course I am, but hear me out.

Roland T. Flakfizer: Behind every great man there is a woman, and thank heaven I have Lillian Oglethorpe because, quite frankly, I enjoy the shade.

Continuity mistake: When Jacques attaches the bungee cord from the cocktail cart to Lazlo's pants, Lazlo takes a step forward and the cocktail cart snaps after him causing a terrible ruckus, however the bottles on the cart mysteriously empty before the collision, and none of them move. They are obviously glued to the cart.

More mistakes in Brain Donors

Trivia: The film was originally shot under the title "Lame Ducks" (hence the animated duck in the movie's title sequence), and studio Paramount was going to give it a tremendous marketing push, hopeful that it would kick-start an ongoing comedy series. However, the Zucker Brothers, who were the main producers of the film, had a falling out with Paramount and left the studio during post-production. Paramount purposely sabotaged the film's marketing and changed the title in a bid for retribution. It bombed at the box office, but thankfully subsequently made a profit on home video as a sleeper-hit thanks to positive word-of-mouth.

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