Brain Donors

Brain Donors (1992)

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Roland T. Flakfizer: Dear Lillian, soon I hope to take you on a Carribbean cruise, where we can hold hands on a soft summer's evening and watch that old Jamaican moon. Why that old Jamaican will be mooning us, I have no idea.

Volare: I told you before... Don't hang my tights by the crotch! it throws off my bulge.

Rocco Melonchek: We'll have to perform a full rectum-ology.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Fondue, an epidemic! drop those pants... Not you, the patient.
Doctor: I thought you were cardiologists.
Rocco Melonchek: Uh, well, they're all connected, we enter the rectum and head north.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Why do you think we have such long instruments?

Roland T. Flakfizer: So, do you enjoy being a cab driver?
Rocco Melonchek: Nah. As soon as I get my driver's license, I'm quitting.

Roland T. Flakfizer: Sorry, two's company, and three's an adult movie.

Roland T. Flakfizer: And that spells cash with a capital.
Jacques: K.
Roland T. Flakfizer: You should go back to school.
Jacques: I hated teaching.

Tina: Was that the doorbell?
Roland T. Flakfizer: That wasn't you?

Roland T. Flakfizer: I didn't know the meaning of the word "no," but he had it down pretty good.

Rocco Melonchek: You're lying.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Of course I am, but hear me out.

Jacques: Society's to blame.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Too much violence in the movies.
Rocco Melonchek: It's my environment.
Jacques: We were carrying out orders.
Roland T. Flakfizer: It's the Japanese. They're buying up everything.
Rocco Melonchek: Did we leave anything out?

Volare: My dance shoes are in the Louvre in Paris.
Flakfizer: Big deal. Last year I left a raincoat in Cleveland.

Volare: Do you realise what I was doing at the age of seven?
Roland T. Flakfizer: I can imagine and you must be thankful you didn't go blind.
Volare: I was dancing professionally.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Whatever you call it. Flogging the carrot, polishing the cuestick, choking the chicken, clearing the snorkel.

Flakfizer: Let's step outside and settle this like men.
Lazlo: We are outside.
Flakfizer: OK, let's step inside and settle it like women.

Usherette: Five and six.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Eleven. Now it's your turn: twenty-five and sixty-seven.

Rocco: Charity work. I gather these for those less fortunate than myself who can't afford pornography.

Roland T. Flakfizer: And she looks like she's about fifteen.
Lazlo: No, no, no.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Okay, fourteen then. In fact I know she's fourteen, because I was dating her a year ago.

Roland T. Flakfizer: If there's anything I can ever do for you... forget it, because I don't do those kinds of things.

Roland T. Flakfizer: Miss, these seats are dreadful. They're facing the stage.

Jacques: Are you Roland T. Flakfizer?
Flakfizer: That all depends. Do I owe you money?
Jacques: No.
Flakfizer: In a drunken stupor, did I promise to marry you?
Jacques: No.
Flakfizer: Then I'm your man.

Roland T. Flakfizer: I'm all out of American currency. Here, take a fistful of Romanian fifties.

Continuity mistake: In the scene in Lilian's town house, when Laslow is searching Lilian's room looking for Tina, Flakfizer intentionally sneezes into talc powder. Barring the cheesy effect of it flying all over the place, his arm (and body) alternate between being covered in powder and being clean. He ends the scene being clean.

Michael Westpy
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Trivia: The film was originally shot under the title "Lame Ducks" (hence the animated duck in the movie's title sequence), and studio Paramount was going to give it a tremendous marketing push, hopeful that it would kick-start an ongoing comedy series. However, the Zucker Brothers, who were the main producers of the film, had a falling out with Paramount and left the studio during post-production. Paramount purposely sabotaged the film's marketing and changed the title in a bid for retribution. It bombed at the box office, but thankfully subsequently made a profit on home video as a sleeper-hit thanks to positive word-of-mouth.

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