Hog Ellis: Hold it right there! This here is a hundred mile hour fast ball. One of the best pitches known to man today. If it were to hit you, it would've knocked your head clean off. I can always miss, but I've been playing pretty good today, so you gotta ask yourself one question.
Carlos Liston: Do I feel lucky?
Hog Ellis: Well, do you Carlos?
Doc: Skip, can I talk to you?
Gus Cantrell: Sure, whats up Doc?
Frank 'Pops' Morgan: I'll tell you what, Rube. Playing a big league team, big league park, made the whole 20 years worthwhile.
Rube Baker: It's a beautiful thing.
Carlos Liston: Tell that son of a bitch to throw me his fastball.
Rube Baker: That was his fastball.
Doc: Do you have nicoise?
Diner Cook: I told you. We have ranch, Italian, and chunky bleu cheese, which is 50 cents extra.
Doc: Do you have any balsamic vinegar?
Diner Cook: I got ranch, Italian, chunky bleu cheese.
Doc: How about a gun so I can shoot myself in the head?
Gus Cantrell: You bring Downtown up too early, you might have to send him back down, and that could really hurt the kid.
Harry Doyle: Lance the Dance scores on what appears to be a triple axle thrown in with a salchow.
Boll Weevils Announcer: What's he doing, is that a curtsey?
Harry Doyle: Lance the Dance is entertaining the crowd. He is blowing kisses and curtseying. This must go back to his days as a balladeer.
Boll Weevils Announcer: Oh, he was a singer?
Harry Doyle: Dancer.
Boll Weevils Announcer: Oh.
Harry Doyle: The brothers Lopez steal second and third. Either somebody got their signals crossed or this is starting to look like a baseball team.
Gus Cantrell: So Pops, I was wondering, did you ever make it to the show?
Frank 'Pops' Morgan: Came close, once. It was with the Red Sox organization.
Gus Cantrell: Yeah?
Frank 'Pops' Morgan: It was October. A player got sick. So I got the call. I was on the plane and a freak snow storm hit. We couldn't land. Two days later: the weather is fine, so is the player.
Gus Cantrell: That stinks.
Frank 'Pops' Morgan: 20 years in the minors, I circled the show, couldn't land.