Joan Wilder: My heart just isn't in it. I mean, romance just doesn't seem real to me anymore.
Gloria: Real? You don't write real - you write about people that sail off into the god damn sunset.
Joan Wilder: Well, what about the next day, when the sun comes up?
Gloria: There is no next day! That's why it's a romance. You've got to stop confusing real life with a romantic novel.
Ralph: You know, I'll bet you can buy a great townhouse down here for around five or six dollars.
Jack T. Colton: I thought you said you wanted to sail around the world with me?
Joan Wilder: Well, I do, but, but not all of it this week. I mean, Jack, this is just becoming a blur. Exotic ports. And great parties. And spectacular sunsets. It's not enough.